Terminally Incoherent

I think that the TV series model of storytelling is deeply flawed. I’m a firm believer that a good story should have a beginning, a middle and an end. A good story takes you on a journey, starting with a light hearted, familiar setting, then building up tension and drama, to be released and resolved in a final showdown at the end. A good story offers you some form of catharsis - happy, sad, moving, or hilarious.

Unfortunately most TV series that have long term story arcs are usually open ended. The writers often do not know if they will be picked up for the next season. A series can end in cancellation after few first episodes, or drag on for years until there is no more story to tell, the quality drops along with the ratings.

Its just not a very good medium for telling compelling stories. It lends itself to open-ended, meandering plot lines which either tapper off into obscurity, or culminate in lame, anti-climatic conclusions. Furthermore, the seasonality forces certain patterns on the show. Every season ends in a cliffhanger which is then dramatically resolved in the season premiere. Then each series winds down airing slow moving “filler” episodes, and then gears up for the next cliffhanger. This constant up-and-down may create exciting seasonal story arcs, but the overall story suffers. Instead of buildup and cathartic resolution we have multiple smaller climaxes interleaved with filler content.

There are exceptions here, but most TV shows end up disappointing fans with the big series finale. In most cases when you look back on n seasons of a given show, you won’t see a cohesive story leading up to the conclusion revealed in the finale. Instead you will see a confusing, meandering jumble of plot lines pulling the characters in different directions.

The best way to write a TV show is to map out the story ahead of time, dice it up into episode length chunks and then sell it as a complete package. A miniseries, a single season show, or a 2-3 season epic. Unfortunately most networks out there have a different model in mind. They will buy a pilot, then pick you up for few episodes before they agree to give you a whole season. And if the series is a hit, they will want you to drag it for more seasons than you intended. This is a wrong approach, and the primary reason why most shows go sour after few years.

You simply can’t write a compelling, moving story in weekly increments if you have no idea where you are going with it, or how long will it take you to get there.

It seems that Battlestar Galactica writers are fully aware of this. Their show always had an ending - finding Earth and final confrontation with the Cylon threat. They knew where they are going, and now they know exactly how long will it take them to get there. All the pieces for a good story are in place, and we just have to hope they won’t screw it up in the final season.

Lost writers also claim they have an ending, and also set a deadline for themselves. And I hope to God that they are not lying about this, an that they will end it with an actual, satisfying conclusion. If they pull a Sopranos on us I will be mighty pissed.

What can I say. Building up tension for 5 minutes and then suddenly cutting to black making people wonder if their cable went out, or if they accidentally hit the wrong button on the remote is not catharsis. It’s being an asshole to your viewers. It’s a pseudo-nihilistic middle finger salute at the loyal fans. Silly trick endings like this might work on a random episode of the Twilight Zone - but are a piss poor way of ending a long, critically acclaimed series.

But then again, with no direction, no goal, no message to convey what do you expect? Every story will eventually be remembered for how it ended, and how it wrapped up the whole storyline. Some people opt for a happy ending, some like to finish strong with an exciting, nail biting conclusion. Some opt for a tear jerker, and some people piss you off by revealing some deeply guarded secret. Some people go with a tragic, controversial ending, and some leave you with a joke. Sopranos went for:

“Oh shit! Did my cable just went out?”

Hell, they should have went completely Andy Kaufman on this by fucking around with the vertical sync, and adding some fake static to really mess with the viewers.

Scary part is that Rob Monroe actually liked the ending. Rob is amazed that Chase was able to end the series without giving the viewers a definite answer to the burning question: “Will Tony Live!”. From a writers point of view, this is clever, and awesome trick to outwit the fans, fuck with spoiler droppers, and generate final media buzz.

Unfortunately, Mr. Monroe forgets that we all do not make TV shows for living. We watch TV for entertainment - for compelling stories, and awesome characters. Viewers do not want a fucking Schrödinger’s Cat ending. We want catharsis.

I really hope Mr. Monroe won’t pull off a similar pointless shit at the end of BSG.

This confession tweet cracked me up:

via confession

God damn it dude! Me too! There’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief.

(BSG fans will get the reference, the rest of you can just move along)

Btw, Confession on twitter is good for fairly random, poignant and sometimes disturbing statements like that. It’s kinda like post-secret in 140 characters. You can add your own anonymous confession here. It is yet another cool use of the Twitter API.

This is an actual conversation I had at lunch today (note we all watched the latest episode of BSG - if you didn’t you may get spoiled):

So, what are your thoughts on the untimely demise of Ms. “I make my own destiny! Oh wait, maybe I don’t”?

Let’s talk about immortality. The concept of eternal life has been present in our fiction since the ancient times but in most cases it was the domain of supernatural being such as gods, faeries, spirits, vampires and etc. In most cases it is either an inborn trait, or a result of a magical blessing or a curse.

But immortality is not only the domain of fantasy. Science fiction has also developed different models of immortality. One of these models immortality via mind transfer. I think the best example of this technique is depicted in Cory Doctorow’s Down and out in the Magic Kingdom novel. In his fictional Bishun Society, people prolong their lives indefinitely by making electronic backup of their consciousness. In an event of death, the person is simply restored from backup in a cloned body. Similar technique is used by the biological Cylons in Scifi Chanell’s Battlestar Galactica series.

Let’s assume that this type of consciousness backup would be possible. You can back yourself up, and restore with no problems or complications. Once restored you are the same person, with the same stupid quirks, and pet peeves. The process is perfect and flawless.

Now imagine that you get into an accident, and you break your back. The doctors say that there is zero chances of repairing this damage. You will be bound to a wheelchair for the rest of your life… Unless of course, you choose to restore yourself from backup. The procedure is really simple.

First you do a backup. Once you are done, you get a lethal injection and your body dies. Minutes later you are restored in a clone with a clean bill of health. Question is - would you do it?

Me - I would probably choose the wheelchair. Why? Well, the whole concept of immortality via mind transfer sounds great on paper but there is one snag. For a lack of better name I call it Consciousness Interruption.

Let me put it this way - restoring from backup is nothing like falling asleep and waking up in a new body. It’s far from it. When the doctors kill your body, you die. That’s it - it’s game over for you. Sure, your clone will have the same memories, the same personality and be you in every possible way. But you - the old you will be dead. There is no link between you and your new copy - you are two completely separate entities. There is just no way you could die and then wake up.

So is this immortality? I would say yes and no. As far as your friends, family and the rest of the universe is concerned - you are immortal. You die, you get restored and you continue to exist unchanged. But from a very subjective point of view - the continuity of your consciousness is extinguished at the point of death. You cease to exist, and someone else with the same memories takes your place.

At least this seems to be true for Cory Doctorow’s model. Do Cylons suffer from this consciousness interruption? I would say yes. Feel free to dispute me on this. I would love to hear your theories on how their system avoids the interruption issues. Sure, their resurrection works slightly different - Cylons seem to remember their own deaths. They don’t really back up, but transfer their consciousness to the Resurrection Ship the moment they die. But as far as I’m concerned it is the same damn thing. The exact same rules apply - one mind dies, the other one is restored. End result: consciousness interrupted.

I leave you with this: Immortality via mind transfer is not true immortality. At least not in the way we sought it since the beginning of time. It is really just a rouse - a social lie, and a form of ultimate escapism. Restoring from backup doesn’t really do anything for the person who is restored - that person just dies. The real benefit of the restoration process is for this person’s loved ones. If you can restore someone after they die, you no longer need to mourn their death, or deal with their loss. It is really a feel good - happy pill for the masses. Nothing else.

Disagree? I would love to hear a counter argument!

BSG fans - I call upon thee. Riddle me this: The Eye of Jupiter temple was created by the 13′th Colony. The temple did not actually hold the eye but the instructions of how to find it - the eye being an ancient Nova that supposedly points in the direction of Earth.

So, seeing how the temple has been built by humans, and it actually does not contain any eye like mystical items - why does Xena Warrior Princes have a vision of the Final Five models in it? Why would the colonists leave such a message for the Cylons in there? And if they didn’t then who did, and why would they? What is the connection between the 13′th colony and the final five? Or is this vision just Xena’s brain frying from being exposed to the radiation emitted by the nova?

Oh, and guess what? I don’t think Sharon is immune to the Cylon killer bug anymore. The excuse for her immunity was that she gave birth to a hybrid child and so she somehow developed it because of whatever. Now that she death-jumped to the Base Star she has a brand spanking new body which is a perfect clone of pre-pregnancy Sharon of course. Helo is probably going to be pleasantly surprised next time they decide to make the sexy time… But Sharon better watch out cause that virus may still be lingering on BSG. The fact that humans are immune to it, does not mean they do not transmit it…