I played Duke Nuke ‘Em when it was a sidescroller on my old Compaq 386. *sigh, I am getting old. But yeah, I remember playing Duke Nuke ‘Em 3D. Great fun game.

Liudvikas wrote:

@ Luke Maciak:
BUY SERIOUS SAM PACK RIGHT NOW!!! Also you should buy this version: http://store.steampowered.com/app/901553/ as it also includes the original titles.

What he said!

@ Luke Maciak:
BUY SERIOUS SAM PACK RIGHT NOW!!! Also you should buy this version: http://store.steampowered.com/app/901553/ as it also includes the original titles.

@ Dr. Azrael Tod:

Good point, but jumping in FPS is generally a bad idea. So even if they were trying to get back to the roots of the franchise, it was still a lousy way to do it. :P

@ Mart:

Nope, never played Serious Sam. Is it worth it? I think it is on Steam sale now.

@ jambarama:

Actually, I think if you look down in DNF you can sort of see your feet sometimes, but that does not help in jumping. :)

@ Adrian:

Really? This is pretty much the treatment Yathzee gives to every single game out there. Every single review is exceedingly cruel, but at the same time highly amusing.

@ SapientIdiot:

At this point it is actually easier to count games that do not use the Unreal engine than those which do. :P

I’m actually very ignorant of Alice franchise. I have never played the first one, and I know nothing of the sequel. I’m aware of the hype surrounding it, but I have not checked it out. What kind of a game is it? I mean, genre wise? And if I know nothing of the original, will I be lost in the sequel?

DNF Was such a huge disappointment. Luckily American McGee’s Alice The Madness Returns came out a few days later. That game made up for how much duke sucked to me. I still havnt finish either of them (probably never will finish DNF), but Alice is pretty much as good of a sequel as DNF is horrible. Interestingly both games use the Unreal Engine.

Only half expected it to be bad

Goddamn.
‘Should we cut him down or swing on his legs to help him along the way.’

That’s the cruelest review I’ve ever seen.

[T]hey were trying to make him into a Buckaroo Banzai style hero … but they ended up with Mike the Situation from the Jersey Shore

Exactly right. And you pointed to more problems than any game has a right to contain, yet still get a wide release.

Also, jumping puzzles in FPS need to die. I CAN’T SEE MY FEET YOU IDIOTS!

I find that if I want a fun FPS romp, with lots of guns and lots of weird enemies to shoot at, I fire up Serious Sam. I’ve only got the 1st one off some Steam sale. Have you tried that?

btw: there were duke-games before Duke Nukem 3D and there were games after it.
The first two parts were jump’n’runs, some of the later are more like Tomb Raider and Manhattan Project is something between side-scroller and jump’n’run so this might explain all the jumping in forever (not making it any better though).