PS – why don’t they check the new mother board Ethernet plug before they go through all the trouble to put it into the computer. It would show the play in the Ethernet plug right away, but I guess that just makes too much sense.

Thank you for that hilarious Dell Hell story. You handled it perfectly. However, in my case, a peon consumer home medical transcriptionist, they stuck me with a lemon and refused to help me. To make myself feel better, I have been reading all the Dell Hell stories I can find. It reminds me of the insurance companies back when they just automatically told people working there to deny all claims. The people in India just deny all claims over and over again. They literally lie to you, do not get the actual story correct, and just put the phone on hold and come back and say they will call you back Monday after a supervisor looks at it or the escalation team – whatever bull they can say – then they never tell the supervisor anything and call you back on Monday and give you the same bold-faced bull and say they cannot help you, yell at you, and accuse you of trying to get something for free that you do not deserve. I wish people like you would stop buying DELL and put them out of business altogether. Hate does not even cover what I feel right now.

Ok I literally found this rant because I typed into Google “WHY IS MY XPS A PIECE OF SHIT”, in all capitals because I am at the point of yelling and hope that one day, someone at Dell, doing their Google analytic s will read my search rant and maybe do something about their life. I have spent the last two days with Dell trouble shooting my computer and completely wiping it. It crashes every 15 minutes, yes every 15 minutes with a “PAGE_FAULT_IN_NONPAGED_AREA”. No one can figure it out and I just bought this computer last week. Anyways, I enjoyed he rant and I am returning this piece of crap. Might have to go to Apple…which is equally crappy.

Just trolling the internet to see if anyone else had bought this dud XPS-14z and I had a good laugh at your story. My ethernet port AND USB (2 and 3) ports are the same. Plug in an external drive and if you bump the table, there goes the connection. My current problem is crashing nVidia drivers. Previous problem was a hard drive that failed. Oh and the screen is coming apart…

I have the exact same computer and the exact same problem. Push the cable in, drape it over the screen, look to the right and cough. (oops wrong test)

I bought a USB to Ethernet converter for when I need a hardwire. Please update on the status of your bosses unit from Dell. My solution will work just fine for me until the usb dies, and the other usb dies.

Your “rant” was very entertaining, thanks.

Same problem, but the dell support has admitted that there is their fault.
I’ll try to replace for the second time the mother board and then I’ll ask for a replacement or refund.
I can’t work on wireless, as I need a stable gigabit connection, and I’ve payed this laptop more than 1500 euros…

How have you resolved? Dell has replaced the laptop or refunded?

The same thing happens to me too. The mother board has been replaced once but connection is as bad as before. Adding the weak and unstable wifi that come with 14z, I am having tons of trouble. This might be my last Dell.

This same exact crap is happening to me. I got the notebook about 6 months ago and noticed the NIC issue almost immediately. Have next day onsite as well, they come out and replace the motherboard. It actually SEEMED like it was fixed (not knowing at that point what the problem was) and I use wireless all the time so I forgot about it.

Well this week I’m filling in for a client’s IT guy and would prefer to work off the wired NIC as their wifi garbages my company’s Lync connection. Lo and behold I’ve been playing with the damn NIC every morning for about 10 minutes to get a steady connection and then I just hope I don’t move the damn laptop at all once I get it going. I think I’m going to call Dell over the weekend and see if they’ve actually got a permanent fix for this… like giving me a fucking refund.

This is hilarious.

I am very interested in what happened with the replacement laptop. Like you I got a new XPS 14z. At first I thought something was wrong with the ethernet cable so I used a new cable. It had the same problem. I did a little investigation and realized the cable did not seat in the port (sound familiar). Then I went searching on the internet and it got me here. Monday morning DELL tech support is supposed to call me with a fix for a USB 3.0 problem (port doesn’t recognize devices or runs very slow). At that point I am going to bring up this problem. One of the solutions for the USB 3.0 problem is a replacement motherboard. I have a feeling that is the path I am going to take. We shall see. Two problems in the first 3 days of use has not instilled me with a lot of confidence.

This is classic TDWTF material (you should consider submitting). I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing that I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about because at some point, I had a boss just like that, and an intern just like that…

“Obviously,” the problem isn’t the laptop, it’s the boss. But since you can’t replace him, I suggest the following solution:
1. Convince him that modern laptops are not designed for Ethernet connection. Throw in a few made-up tales about research studies, design trends, and target audience. Basically, the only laptops that work are the ones built 3-5 years ago, like the monster of the machine he is using as “back up.”
2. Conclude that he’s a big, powerhouse business user whose complex needs (sitting his lazy ass on the couch with legs extended–but you need not clarify this part) far exceed what a normal laptop built for the average person can accommodate.
3. Suggest that the most logical solution is to get two computers: a powerhouse desktop (that will sit on his big ass desk with its Ethernet connection untugged) for his complex tasks and confidential communication, and a laptop (that is wireless) for casual tasks. Say this is the most cost-efficient and logical solution given the state of technology and designs. It’s certainly a lot more straight-forward than re-configuring the entire office (which will cost $20,000 upfront and $10,000 a month for upkeep, all payable to you).