I often tend to judge people based on the type of browser they use. Believe it or not, the choice of your favorite browser reveals a lot about your personality.
IE 5.0:
You only use your computer for IM, email and Myspace. You stubbornly refuse to upgrade that ancient Win 98 box that you are using because you don’t need some fancy computer and in your opinion the one you have works just fine. You also probably don’t use antivirus or antispyware either. You just let your son/nephew/friend clean it out every month or so.
IE 6.0:
You probably don’t know what a “browser” is and you think Internet is IE. You have no clue about technology, and you are generally afraid of computers. You also use your machine only for IM, chat, email and myspace. Your friends keep telling you about that “Fried Fox” thingy but you don’t really understand this stuff and never really had time to look into it.
IE 7.0:
You consider yourself to be on the cutting edge of technology. You think that Microsoft is the greatest company on the earth, and that this evil “Lenoux” operating system is made by terrorists. You have a poster of Steve Ballmer on your wall, and you want to be like Bill Gates when you grow up. When you think about Vista you get goosebumps and shiver with excitement.
Firefox 1.x:
You are most likely a little bit geeky and proud of it. You are a strong supporter of the Open Source movement, and you think that RMS is “the man”. You really don’t care if FF is faster, or safer than IE – you would use it even if it performed 10 times worse. You are just happy that you have a free, open source browser with a huge community that is supporting it. At any given time you have installed at least 7 extensions that you couldn’t live without.
Firefox 2.0 Beta:
You are a developer by day and open source developer by night. Either that, or a huge Firefox fan. You are all over Bugzilla reporting all the issues you encounter with the browser. You have probably summited at least one patch to an open source project at some point in your life. You love to tinker with your applications, and you don’t mind running beta software on your machine. After all, it is fun to discover new bugs, and to work little kinks out of the new cutting edge programs.
Mozilla:
You have been with Mozilla since the begging. You think that Firefox is really over-hyped and you prefer the old school Netscape like environment much better. You don’t think the Moz Suite is bloated – you actually like having a mail client, irc client, and a web editor embedded in the browser. You don’t understand why people would pick a browser with less features. In all other aspects you are much like a Firefox user – you love Open Source, you are fond of your extensions and etc… Actually, no – you would rather say that Firefox users are much like you in their tastes. After all, you were using an awesome gecko powered browser while they were still struggling with their IE or whatever.
Opera:
You really don’t care for they Firefox hype. What you want is the best browser there is – and for you that’s Opera. You actually used to pay them when the browser was ad supported. If a Firefox fanboi starts talking smack about your browser you quickly shoot him down by proposing the ACID2 test. You know what you want (a fast, standards compliant browser) and you know where to get it. Browser wars do not interest you at all, although you kinda hope that Firefox wins so that fewer web developers make IE only pages.
Netscape 8.x:
You are a senior citizen, who just recently got a new computer. You don’t really understand anything about the internets, but you distinctly remember that you must have Netscape to run them. You can’t understand all that talk about Internet Explorator and Firesomething, and you have no clue what Oprah has to do with the internets. All you know is that you need to click on that big N to get to the “onlines”. You think that Senator Steven’s speech about net neutrality made a lot of sense. You also sent out an internet one day, and the other person haven’t received it for days.
Netscape 7 and below:
See IE 5.0.
AOL Explorer:
Ever since you installed new AIM client this thing became your default browser. You really hate it, but you just can’t figure out how to change it back. You don’t even know how to explain what you want to your computer savvy friends. Whenever you try to get help and you say something like “can you change the new internet, back to the old internet?” they just stare at you and pretend they don’t understand. They probably don’t know as much about computers as they say they do, or something.
AOL Suite:
You most likely either still use AOL as your dialup ISP. Either that, or you somehow figured that you still need AOL even after getting broadband connection. Someone told you you can actually use the internets without starting AOL but you haven’t figured out how is that possible. It seems really difficult though, and you suspect it might be illegal.
Safari:
Congratulations! You are a Mac user with all perks and benefits that title offers you. You love OSX, and you would never use Windows. It just seems ugly and kludge stricken to you. You like the simplicity, and clarity that Mac offers you, and Safari is a browser that just works for you. You never really bothered to look for another one, because you are fully satisfied with what you have and you wouldn’t change it for the world.
Konqueror:
You are a linux user, and a geek at heart. You think that KDE is the best desktop environment out there, and you despise Gnome. You love the fact that your browser is also file manager, a ftp/scp client, smb share client, a PDF viewer and many other things. You like to show off KDE’s network transparency to your friends by scp’ing to your web server, editing HTML file, saving it, and then refreshing the modified page without ever leaving the browser. Most of the applications you use on a daily basis have names starting with a k (Kmail, Kontact, Kdevelop, Koffice etc..)
Lynx:
You are a liar. You really want me to believe that you use a text browser for everything? Especially one that does not support javascript, frames, css and has trouble displaying tables? Seriously, I can totally believe that you use vi all the time, and that your primary email client is Mutt or Pine. But there is no way that I’m prepared to buy that you use lynx for everything. And if you would, then you’d be the most hardcore geek I have ever seen in my life. Hats off to you!
—
If you disagree with any of the above, please let me know in the comments. If you are offended, then stop using that shit you use and get a real browser. :mrgreen: Also feel free to add short descriptions for the browsers that I missed.
Disclaimer: I have no clue who made that awesome firefox image. Someone had it as an avatar on a message board. I’m perfectly willing to give the author credit if I can find him.
Update Sun, August 20 2006, 04:00 AM
Thank you for all the comments. Just to set things straight – I am not saying Lynx is a bad browser. I use it quite often in fact for various things. I’m just saying that I doubt a lot of people would use it as their main browser of choice. But if you are, hats off to you! You are much more hardcore than I am.
Update Sun, August 20 2006, 10:09 PM
Now, here are some missing browsers by popular demand:
Flock:
They might as well call you Mr. Web 2.0. You are all over flickr, del.icio.us, youtube and dozens of other websites, and your browser reflects it. You think that Firefox is OK, but it does not include all the blogging, photo sharing, tagging and bookmark sharing tools right there at your fingertips. You wish you could get a chip implanted in your brain so that you would stay connected to the web and be able to moblog 24/7. When the small minded people tell you that Flock is just a fork of Firefox you dismiss them saying they are not seeing the big picture.
Epiphany:
You are a Gnome user and proud of it. You consider KDE a torture device from hell. You are fond of explaining people that KDE must be configured for hours before it can be usable. The people who claim that KDE is totally usable right out of the box are definitely dirty liers. You prefer things simple and intuitive – that’s why you picked Gnome, and that’s why you use Epiphany. You tried using Mozzila and Firefox but you found them bloated, counterintuitive and ugly. Your desktop is neat an organized, just like your desk is.
Maxthon and Avant:
You are a little bit confused. You like IE and you wouldn’t change it for another browser. You don’t want to worry about sites that won’t render properly, or ActiveX controls that won’t work on an alternative browser. But deep down inside you are envious of your friends who get to have tabbed browsing, and other cool features. You do recognize that IE is a little behind the times though, and you want something more modern, without giving up your ability to render certain websites. Maxhton/Avant lets you have the best of both worlds – the warm and comfy feel of IE rendering engine, and all the cool features that are standard in other browsers. You will likely switch to IE7 when it is out of beta.
Sea Monkey:
You simply like application suites. You can’t help it, but the thought of using separate applications for web browsing an email just seems obscene to you. You used to use Mozilla but when Sea Monkey was released, you quickly jumped ship and you have never looked back. You think Sea Monkey is the coolest name for a browser ever!
w3m:
You have been a sysadmin for most of your life. You rarely see the sunlight because you spend most of your day in the bowels of the NOC surrounded by big servers. You can’t sleep without the background noise of a humming computer fan. You take a warm jacket to work even in the summertime because the AC in the server room is cranked up so high you could get a cold just thinking about it. Young geeks look up to you, and try to imitate you – but you could never figure out why.
K-Meleon:
You are way to impatient to wait for your browser to load. Even IE starts up to slow for you. That’s why your browser has a preloader, and it is cranked up so high that it only takes nanoseconds for the window to pop up on the screen. You live life in the fast lane, and you do not have time to wait for the slow moving applications. You can remember spending hours doing windows registry tweaks to bring up those response rates, loading times, and decrease timeouts on everything.
Dillo:
You are a minimalist at heart. You like your applications small and fast. You can be obsessive about memory footprints of the programs you run on a daily basis. You most likely run IceWM or Windowmaker on your machine and you sneer at the bloated desktop environments such as KDE or Gnome. You are known as the the local Linux/BSD guru.
—
Sigh… I tried to write something about Camino, Shiira and Omniweb but I have nothing. I never used them. Please feel free to do your own description of those in the comment and I will include it in the post.
Translations:
This post was translated to Chinese – here. I can’t read Chinese so I can’t tell you much more about it, but I think it’s awesome that someone took time to do this. :mrgreen:
Portugese translation can be found here. Thanks!
Update Mon, Aug 21 2006, 3:20 PM
For those of you who are interested, here are my istes the browser usage statistics for the last few days.
[tags]browser, browser wars, firefox, internet explorer, ie, opera, safari, lynx, netscape, aol, aol explorer[/tags]
DX I’m nothing like your description for IE7. I just can’t stand any of the other browsers. And I’ve always used IE. I know nothing about technology. DX -killed-
Shiira. It’s a thing of beauty…
I run a computer store and i must say, most of these are pretty much right on (except the safari bit, i have never had to repair a MAC in my life, dont they ever break ? )
As for me, I’m an opera user, one that paid for his browser ofcourse ;)
al·lot
tr.v. al·lot·ted, al·lot·ting, al·lots
1. To parcel out; distribute or apportion: allotting land to homesteaders; allot blame.
2. To assign as a portion; allocate: allotted 20 minutes to each speaker.
There truly is a browser for every occasion.
It’s good except for one thing. I wouldn’t use firefox if it wasn’t better. They have such killer plugins that I could never replace in ie and I can’t stand finding with ctrl +f I need the / search.
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So you either an technology-ignorant, a Microsoft-Steve-Ballmer lover or a geek.
Way to go, this article sucks!
Here’s my take…
Opera:
Internet Explorer:
Firefox:
I use Opera.
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Pretty good observations, except I’ve heard “fox fire” (not fried fox) much more often in the tech neophyte circles.
Firefox is slower than IE.
Hey i use IE5. Really. I’m not kidding. Stop laughing. I hate you all.
Very inaccurate evaluation of browser users in my opinion. I use IE6, Firefox 1.5.0.6 and Firefox Beta 2, and Opera on my laptop regularly and most of the stuff you wrote doesn’t apply to me in the least bit.
For IE6, I use it because I don’t want to install IE7, just because I don’t like it and I’m waiting for Vista to use it. I use my machine for much more than chat, email and myspace. I know about Firefox, and actually I’m the one who introduced Firefox to all my friends.
For Firefox 1.5, it’s my main browser. I very much like the Open Source Movement, but I in no way support it (I don’t donate money to open-source projects, I don’t write code for them). The reason I use Firefox is because it’s more customizable than IE and I wouldn’t use if it was slower and more open to getting hacked. I hear about IE bugs everyday and that’s why I don’t use it much.
For Firefox Beta 2, I am not a developer, but I am a huge Firefox fan. I don’t submit bugs, and I haven’t created a patch for any open-source project. I do enjoy trying out new software, but that goes for anything, not just web browsers. I’m using Firefox Beta 2 as a second Firefox because I like the new features and the visual refresh, and when I tried to upgrade Firefox 1.5.0.6, a lot of my extensions were incompatible, so I have both browsers now.
And lastly, for Opera, I use it not because I don’t care about the Firefox hype, but because I like a lot of the features Opera offers, such as built in BitTorrent. I don’t have to download a seperate BT application, since it’s built into my browser. And actually, when Opera cost $29 (or whatever thep price was) I didn’t use it. The first time I downloaded it was when they had a day when they offered it for free, and I tried it and liked it. Then soon after, they made it completely free and I downloaded it then. Browser wars do interest me, because since I believe Firefox is the best (more convenient) browser, it should have more market share than the old-school IE.
But, I have to agree, that was an entertaining look at it. :)
Yes, Maxthon is run with the IE engine but completely rocks. It makes Firefox look like an old outdated toy.
How you write says “allot” about your education.
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What do you mean? Does nobody use telnet to connect to port 80 of the web server and directly type in their query anymore? Hand-reading the HTML and rendering it in your imagination is half the fun!
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Sorta funny, but doesn’t apply to me in the least. Everything seems skewed towards fire fox…..oh well.
Flock, epiphany, galeon or Milestone?
When you’re talking about Netscape, you said, “You think that Senator Steven’s speech about net neutrality made allot of sense.”
Allot: 1. To parcel out; distribute or apportion: allotting land to homesteaders; allot blame.
2. To assign as a portion; allocate: allotted 20 minutes to each speaker.
A lot: Very many, a large number
Taken from dictionary.com. You wanted to say a lot.
But I definitely lol’d about the Steven’s thing. THE INTERNET IS NOT A TRUCK! IT’S A SERIES OF TUBES!
Stereotyping garbage.
dude, you do not know how ACCURATE you really are. you hit it square on the nose between myself, family, & friends. this is hilarious!
one thing you may have left out is people who were with Firefox since the days of Firebird or even Phoenix!
again, this browser-personality blog is uncanny! :)
i got one class of IE7 users you forgot about. Tech support people who use it at work, so they’ll fully understand the problems that people who call in and ask why they can’t get their internet anymore.
princessatine you’ve offically made my quote of the day. =)
seriously dude…. you need a reality check.. hey maybe finding a girl might not be such a bad idea.
Safari : Apple’s commercials and their “Our cars have wheels !” syndrom got you, now you think Apple is cooler and faster and you’re not aware that it’s same shit, just more expensive.
(disclaimer : I worked on a mac for about 5 years)
Opera all the way baby
Ever tried w3m ?It’s a text browser that support graphics and frame etc,etc,etc .Give it a go :D other then taht awsome !!!!going to bookmark it right noe :) .
Best Nervox,
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You forgot two more – Dillo.and Mosaic
Was blown away that you didn’t include Epiphany, mentioned upthread. I’ve tried Epiphany, and it keeps up very well with modern times, even runs YouOS. But ‘o course, Firefox is where I hang my hat.
I’ve been using Opera since around 1998. Wanna know what my first clue was? Netscape crashed and IE fucked over my Windows 98 installation. And it was the first edition, the most unstable version until the Mistake Edition. But after I made the switch to Opera, I became an adventerous enough geekette to switch to Linux..and voila..crashes nye since 2000 =)
I’ve used Lynx too. Just for fun. It beats looking at all these crappy picture infested website when all you’re trying to do is research…
Wow! That’s a lot of comments! See – I spelled it right this time! Thanks for corrections and I apologize for the spelling. :)
To all of you who think this is a wast of time, immature, stereotypical, cliche or whatever – that was the idea behind this article. It’s a joke. Sorry you didn’t like it, but what did you expect when you read the title and the introduction? An in depth psychological study?
What about FLOCK and SEAMONKEY?
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lol… nice post
The netscape and aol comments is 100% my girlfriends mom. She can’t tell the difference b/t aol,netscape, and the internet.
Although I don’t think your sterotypes apply to everyone… I have all the browsers on that list.
w3m with graphics mode… i actually use this quite often… on my slow pentium 133mhz hp omnibook 800 laptop… opens in the terminal and responds with the mouse
pure greatness
You are a narrow-minded moron, and frankly I am disappointed that I wasted time out of my life to read your garbage.
I am a developer, and have been for years. I develop for the masses – MSIE currently is that mass. If Firefox ever manages to actually capture significant market share – I might begin to pay more attention to it.
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Yup, that safari is me!! Mac user and DAMN proud of it. Screw windows, It’s useless.
i use opera …
opera on a mac at home …
opera on windows at work …
wish there was a way to sync the sessions … open sessions, i mean … or last session …
so that i can continue surfing the same sites i visisted when i come home from work …
opera is good … for sites which dont really play nice with opera … i use safari …
need to check out flock soon …
great article …
u guessed ok on opera users i guess … hehe …
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Perhaps you should title this, ‘what I believe your browser says about you’.
Otherwise, this is blogtrash loaded with stereotypes…
I’m actually learning allot thanks to these comments – I now have 4 or 5 new browsers that I really want to check out. Thanks everyone!
Bob: Maybe I’m to idealistic for my own good, but I believe that attitude like yours is part of the problem.
You won’t develop up to the W3C spec because IE doesn’t implement it. Because of this, people with other browsers suffer from accessibility problems. By your actions you help IE to maintain it’s dominance – and then you claim you would support other browsers if they had enough market share. It is a vicious cycle:
If people won’t develop for other browsers, they will never gain a significant market share. But you won’t develop for alternative browsers till they get that market share… Do you see the endless loop?
No, I won’t call you a moron or anything like that. You are most definitely not one. But I do believe you are part of the problem.
I try to be part of the solution: I develop up to spec, and then tweak for IE related issues.
an0n: read the first line of the post – that’s where I reveal that this whole post is totally biased and etc..
Why is everyone getting their panties into a bunch? As Luke stated, this was a joke. For those who have problems seeing past the edge of their noses, go elsewhere because this blog is not for you. As a matter of fact, the internets is not for you. If you feel offended by this or any other blog, I suggest that you shut down your computer, and go ask your mothers to coddle you in their bosom.
weaksauce.
You’ve given to much credit to those IE6 users ;-)
hmmmm, the description for safari(my browser or choice)doesn’t fit me, the reason I use safari is because firefox for the mac isn’t exactly the holy grail as it is on the pc, camino is slow and until I checked just now I thought you had to pay for opera… so maybe safari isn’t my browser anymore…
Eilleen (princessatine): Thank you! You are awesome :)
ambush: Opera is free now, and it does not include banners or anything. Go check it out.
Great piece.
I’d thought about mentioning this in a few of my blogs/journals but most of my readers wouldn’t get half of it. :-)
I still may though.
In the meantime, regarding “You think that KDE is the best window manager out there, and you despise Gnome…”
I like both GNOME and KDE (as well as Konqueror and Firefox).
Lastly, KDE is a Desktop Environment, not a Window Manager. :-)
Hilariously aweful blog. Way to fill the internet with more trash. Firefox is for those that need their hands held as the struggle through the internet jungle. Tabbed browsing is neat, but not enough to switch permanently. Adblock? I’ll take the hosts file, thanks.
funny
but i found firefox takes too much resource in my computer, some time 100+ M.
anyway, it the best of all i have used.
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Hey Luke,
Heh, I swear I didn’t send a bunch of Flockstars into your comments! :) Looking forward to hearing what you think about Flock. If you have any questions, just ping me.
Cheers,
Will Pate
Community Ambassador, Flock
Yes Flock is a great broweser… But i guess anyone who uses flock just falls under FF since its the same thing. (same engin anyway)
I was already saying that in my above statement.
Flocks an awesome system non the less.
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[…] Terminally Incoherent » Blog Archive » What does your browser reveal about you? I often tend to judge people based on the type of browser they use. Believe it or not, the choice of your favorite browser reveals allot about your personality (tags: Browser Internet Personality Firefox) […]
Scott: I changed “window manager” to “desktop environment” – thanks.
Will Pate: Hehe :P I added an entry for Flock up there. I hope the Flockerati are not gonna flame me for it now.
“You actually used to pay them when the browser was add supported…” Shouldn’t that be ad supported? Hats off to you for getting people to digg ya….
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hmmm, as I understand it omniweb runs the same engine as safari but a few months later because apple releases safari and the new webcore/kit at the same time, however omniweb stands out because it has a few very wonderful features, for example it has visual tabbed browsing like a pdf reader and when you relaunch it it remembers what pages you had open last time… and camino… It is supposed to be the most compatible browser, as well as the slowest, it has a very nice looking interface though…
A pox on those “browsers”. The real question: Is wget or curl a better fetcher for less?
And if you understand that, you’re as messed up as I am. And yes, I do program in APL and Fortran.
That nice i use firefox beta . i m interested in opensource
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anon: LOL! Dude, you are really hardcore. Using wget/curl and less to “browse” the web can’t be convenient. I bet you don’t like the current AJAX trend, don’t you?
And holly shit! You still do Fortran? Are there still a lot of Fortran/APL based mission-critical systems out there?
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I like IE6 (I use MyIE2 in front of it mostly)
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funny and excellently well written
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I’m a die-hard Firefox user, but for me, RMS is most certainly NOT the man. In fact I’d like to punch the guy in the face which would certainly make me feel better!
You forgot elinks! ;)
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“You consider yourself to be on the cutting edge of technology. You think that Microsoft is the greatest company on the earth, and that this evil “Lenoux” operating system is made by terrorists. You have a poster of Steve Ballmer on your wall, and you want to be like Bill Gates when you grow up. When you think about Vista you get goosebumps and shiver with excitement.”
Yeah right. Stopped right there….zzzzz
Luke: “Is FF 3.0 even usable at this point?”
Of course! Well, remotely anyway. If you can close one eye and pretend you didn’t see that crash, 20 times a day. And avoid bookmarks. And hack through extensions so they’ll just barely run… But hey, bleeedin’ edge is what counts! :D
load of bollocks.. I use Maxthon 1.5 and 2.0 preview…. with the IE7 engine
“You are a little bit confused. You like IE and you wouldn’t change it for another browser. But deep down inside you are envious of your friends who get to have tabbed browsing” lol.. envious of other tabbed browsers? lol if any other browser had the intuitive speed in workflow and customizability that Maxthon provides along with RSS feeds and Tab browsing etc I wouldn’t be using Maxthon. Confused I think not.. I try Opera, shitFox every new version they bring out.. they suck compared to maxthon.. shitfox has more plugins to choose from, but who the fuck downloads a browser only to spend more time looking for plugins to add more functionality to it? fucking losers.. its not even fast at rendering pages, just bloatware with bad memory management.
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I love how all IE users get all worked up about this post, while everyone else can take the joke.
I use FF on a Mac, that makes me what?
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You forgot to mention the Firefox user whose browser takes 15 minutes to load because it has 32,646 extensions. That would be me. Then there are the nimrods who are still using DOS and Archne. And what about the most standards-compliant browser on the planet, the W3C’s Amaya? Oy vaya.
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What about people who use more than one browser? I use IE 6.0 and Firefox 1.x. I’m a code junkie and like to use them to test php and asp.net webpages look and feel.
– Bob at http://www.BookScholarship.com
Screw FireFox 2b
What about Deer Park Alpha 2?
I’m dedicated to the fried fox these days, but Netscape 7 was actually a damn fine browser. Bookmark management was way easier than in FF, and profiles were there out in the open, not buried away as a developer tool. I admit I was using FF for months grumbling about losing profiles when I stumbled upon a mention of them an online forum and found out they still exist after all. Hello, really useful tool, why bury it???
Typo:
Mozilla
You have been with Mozilla since the begging. You think that Firefox is really
s/b
begining
LOL , really funny but not all true. I use FF 2.x
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Omfg, u praise mac as if it was made by god. I agree with possibly 3 sections that you have written. I use firefox and find that the plug-ins make it by far the best browser.
Dave: dude, I don’t even use a mac. I’m a linux guy and I use firefox.
ALL
This was made in good humor. Now I know im a geek…. But this isnt geekism. you know if you get offended becasue someone teased your web broweser… that just means you need to get a life.