I saw Live Free or Die Hard few days ago and I must say that I’m really glad that I did not actually waste money to see this piece of crap on the big screen. My gut instinct is to automatically pass on any movies that feature hackers or cyber-terrorism because Hollywood always gets these things horribly wrong.
Watching the new installment of the Die Hard was a bit like revisiting The Net all over again. The level of technical expertise and realism is about the same in both pictures. In all fairness, The Net is probably a better movie of the two simply because it contains Sandra Bullock in her prime, and does not contain Justin Long (who seriously needs to get punched in the face with a sledge hammer).
This is the plot of the movie: a bunch of evil terrorists (and you know they are totally evil because they all wear black) hack into the United States and shut everything down. You gonna ask me “United States what?” but no, I did not skip a word there. That is precisely the problem with this movie. These dudes hack into everything! They are such 1337 hackers that they can control anything: street lights, gas mains, tv channels, cell phone networks, the stock market, banking, trains, plains, on board avionics in military jets – hell, they can even take over that shitty $10 webcam in your bedroom and spy on your ass.
The movie is full or ridiculous scenes that look like they were inspired by The Net. For example, at one point the bad guy played by Timothy Olyphant (who we probably better know as The Asexual Hitman Man) goes “McClain, I just deleted your bank account and now I’m deleting your 401k – how do you feel about that? Muahahahaha” as he types something on his keyboard. Next thing you know there is an animation of a page with a big 401k heading and a table with some numbers that suddenly start counting down until they all reach $0 while you hear the ka-ching cash register sound effect. Really? I mean, seriously! Come one people!
The scene is silly in itself but it becomes even sillier when you find out what the bad guys are “really after”. You see, according to this film, after 9/11 the government created a secret facility with some totally awesome servers (and you know they are totally awesome because they like have a lot of blinkenlights) where all financial, banking and social security information from the whole country will be backed up in case of a national emergency. The terrorists want to steal that data because once they have it they will be able to (and this is a direct quote):
“Put it on a portable disk, take it anywhere. They will be able to make transfers, and will be untraceable! Or they could delete it all and send us back to the stone age!”
In other words, the terrorists pretty much shut down the country order to perpetrate some petty identity theft. I’m ignoring that stone age bit because it just doesn’t make any sense and I don’t even want to know what they were getting at. Why do they create a media circus instead of doing things quietly is beyond me. What is even funnier, you have to realize that they already took over computer systems of banks, investment firms, the NY stock exchange, social security systems and etc. It seemed like they already had access to all that information that was supposed to be in the super-secret backup facility. After all they were deleting people’s bank accounts and 401k plans and making untraceable transfers throughout the movie. So why did they needed the backups? I mean, it’s not like they could erase them and “send us to stone age” since every single institution they broke into is likely to have localized and/or off-site physical backups. No super-duper national backup plan would ever replace that. It makes no sense.
Live Free or Die Hard uses virtually every single hated computer cliche in the book. Hacking is done by vigorous typing and you can pretty much tell how hard one is hacking by how fast and hard he is punching the keys. No one ever uses a mouse, or the space bar for anything. Tracing the source of a video chat takes the same amount of time as tracing a phone call, and you must stall the person on the other side of the line making small talk. I mean, I’d just take the IP number and look it up in the whois database to get the address of the registrant but apparently it is a much more complex procedure that displays a big red “ROUTER DENIED” warning whenever you fail to trace the source properly.
It takes exactly 4 key strokes to pull up any information. It goes like this: a bad guy says “locate McClains daughter!”. A dude sitting at a computer terminal goes tap, tap, tap, TAP (you know, the last tap must be like emphasized) and goes “She is stuck in an elevator between 4th and 5th floor in the such and such building on the 34th street”. Then of course they pull up the elevator cam feed to look at her with exactly 4 more keyboard strokes. Justin Long on the other hand manages to reprogram his cell phone to use the super secret satellite network in exactly 4 keyboard strokes. It’s amazing really!
If you plan to watch this movie make sure you keep Clarkes’ third law firmly in mind. In Live Free or Die Hard technology is indistinguishable from magic. Hackers are wizards with unlimited power who can do anything the plot is calling for at the moment: reroute the gas mains, shut down the electrical grid, change stock prices, take over your GPS system, hack into your hamster and turn it into a time bomb (ok, I made this last one up) – you name it. They can shut down the country and bring about the end of civilization and the only person who can stop them is a grizzled, cynical cop who doesn’t know much about computers but can kick serious ass.
I find it funny how all the evil hackers are smart, educated, and well dressed. They all use big words, they enunciate and act professional at all times. You know, highly educated and well spoken people are all evil elitist bastards with their science, and their logic and etc. The good hackers on the other hand are lovable geeks – clumsy, oafish and mumbling cryptic stuff to themselves all the time. They might be smart, but the writers take special care to show that they would never survive without the big, bad McClain holding their hand and wiping their noses all the time. Both of these portrayals personally offend me as a programmer and IT professional but hell, what do I know.
I understand that no one in Hollywood hires technology consultants anymore – and if they do, they probably fired them on the first day when they start crossing out all the awesome hacker stuff from the script and replace it with boring stuff. I get it. I am not their target audience and I guess someone with less technical knowledge than me could overlook all the flaws I listed above. But the badness of the movie extends way beyond that. It is simply way over the top. You’d think that the 3 previous die hard movies were over the top but they are nothing compared to this installment.
It seems that there is some sort of pissing contest going on in Hollywood to see who can make a movie with more outrageous stunts. This trend peeked and culminated in the proverbial Nuking of the Fridge in Indiana Jones 4. Die Hard 4 is a clear runner up in the same league though. McClain destroys a helicopter by driving over a fire hydrant, blows up another driving a car up a makeshift ramp into it, outmaneuvers and destroys a Harrier jet while driving a tractor trailer. Of course before he destroys the jet he jumps on top of it, and manages to stand upright on one of the wings while the plane spins out of control. I mean, WTF is this? Jet surfing?
This sort of thing has to stop. The fact that CGI is dirt cheep these days doesn’t mean you have to use so much of it. The fact that you have a big budget does not mean you need to blow it all on explosions, crashes and outrageous stunts. The original Die Hard while still stunt/special effect heavy was much more low key. McClain had to use stealth and cunning to survive and dispatch the bad guys. The proportions between realism and ass-kicking action were maintained at a level where the viewer was kept on edge of his seat most of the time. There was just enough realism to allow the viewer to suspend his disbelief, and just enough of unrealistic stunts to make things exciting. In Live Free or Die Hard reality goes out the window as soon as the hero blows up the n’th helicopter, falls down from a 10 story building, dusts himself off and then tries to surf on top of a military jet plane while the pilot ejects from the cabin. You can’t build tension when your character pulls off crazy reality defying stunts every 5 minutes. You can’t escalate the special effects indefinitely and expect viewers to go ooh and ahh after each explosion. The more stunts you have in your movie, the less impressive they become.
This is exactly what was happening to the James Bond franchise – they kept escalating the special effects, and adding crazier and crazier stunts with each new installment and at some point people just started yawning and leaving theaters in droves. Then Bond was reinvented anew. Instead of having him jumping over a helicopter on a motorcycle they made him do some Parkour. Instead of an elaborate trap involving sharks with lasers attached to their heads, they used a bottomless chair and a piece of rope with a big knot on the end (and holly shit, that torture scene made me cringe). Lo and behold they scored a huge blockbuster success. I thought that Hollywood got the message after that one. But it is clear that they didn’t since we have movies such as Live Free or Die Hard or Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Suck still coming out these days.
I can’t really say anything about Bruce Willis’ performance because any respect I might have had for his character was instantly destroyed when he started doing the condescending “I don’t know about computers so why don’t you say that in English you pathetic nerd” routine every time Justin Long said something. Most of the signature Die Hard attitude and bravado was drowned out by the outrageous action sequences, and the pointless and tedious banter with Long.
Long pretty much plays the same annoying character he portrays in the Apple commercials – a smug know it all with some of the least favorable geek stereotypes. For example he delivers a rambling rant about how “the man” is controlling the media, makes inappropriate star wars references or uses nonsensical technobabble around McClain knowing full well he is a computer illiterate idiot.
Bottom line is that the movie is absolutely horrible. It is incoherent, inconsistent, badly written and nukes the fridge on average every 5 minutes. Plot is nonsensical, and the stunts become more and more far fetched up to the point where all suspense is gone and you can’t help but yawn once you get to the part when Willis is running on top of a flying harrier jet mid flight. Avoid at all costs!
Also, I propose a new rule: Hollywood is no longer allowed to make movies that feature hackers, hacking or cyber terrorism. We will all be better off if they stick to old fashioned lo-fi terrorism which most people can understand and comprehend.
Damn! I thought that I already had a Friday post queued up for this week. I guess I didn’t. Oh well, next week’s post will do. Sorry if this post contains more than the usual amount of typos, or fractured sentences. I was pretty sure I will have ample time to proofread it before it hit the blog next week. :P
A bottomless chair? :S
@freelancer: Um… Well, did you see the Casino Royale torture scene? They take a chair, cut the seat out so that there is only a frame left, then they sit bond on it stark naked and tie his arms and legs so that he can’t get up from it. In effect his butt and genitals are just hanging there unsupported. The bad guy then takes a piece of thick wet rope with a big knot at the end and swings it so that it goes under the chair and hits Bond square in the balls each time.
So yeah…. Maybe I should have said seat-less chair? Or something like that. How would you say it?
[quote post=”2652″]It takes exactly 4 key strokes to pull up any information.[/quote]
Well, at least they use Vim.
@Luke: Well it does make sense now that you explain it. I didn’t remember that scene though, so I was trying to fit the “bottomless pit” idea to a chair, and it just didn’t work…
@Ian Clifton: LOL!
Serously, I wish!
@freelancer: I don’t know why but that scene stuck in my memory. I find it disturbing on more than one level – which shows how much better this new incarnation of Bond has become. All the other recent Bond movies pretty much blend into un-recognizable mush in my mind and I wouldn’t even be able to tell you what was the plot of any of them.
You have captured my exact thoughts while watching this in the theatre. My gf can’t understand why I kept giggling whenever there’s some “hack” going on.
Cracked.com also has a nice article, 5 Things Hollywood Thinks Computers Can Do, in which the first part is about Die Hard 4 and the mystical all-seeing all-knowing power of hack.
Did you at least catch that someones name was “Devorak” and “Linus” hidden geekisms
Speaking of technical adviser fuck-ups, has anyone seen the latest episodes of Prison Break?
“It looks like a cellphone, but it’s really like a digital black hole. Wireless harddrive that swallows up any electronic data within 20 feet of it.”
It makes me want to cry!
@freelancer:
LOL! Yeah! More tech-magic!
I guess technology today is like wizards in fantasy-theme shows. If it doesn’t make sense, just say “A wizard did it!”.
yeah but you guys miss the point nowhere did it say this movie is based on reality… Instead of compairing it to what’s real in our world take it at face value and think..”that would be so cool/scary if possible”. Yeah there were plot issues… Like why go after the one backup instead of all the other financial info they had already… But everyone knows DoD databases are not even hardwired outside their building… And it’s not about what they are typing they don’t have time to explain how they are doing that shit. It’s an action flick… Details are not important… We don’t question the logic of monty python’s quest for the holy Grail for the same reason we shouldn’t look at it any deeper than an action flick or monty python as a comidy. However if you find an invalid documentary tell me… I’ll bitch too. :)
@freelancer: LOL!
@Mart: Yup, we cal this Clarke’s Third Law. Technology == Magic to dumb people.
@travis mccrea: I don’t agree. Matrix was a SF flick with a lot of silly computer stuff in it. But when they showed hacking inside the matrix they made it realistic.
In Matrix Reloaded there is a scene where Trinity runs nmap against the attacked server, and then uses an old shhnuke exploit to gain access to the computers at the power plant.
To an untrained eye it still looks like magical hacking. To me it looks realistic. Everyone wins.
The stuff in Live Free or Die Hard simply prevents me from enjoying the movie because I’m to busy rolling my eyes.
But again, I said that even when I decided to ignore the computer silliness the movie was unwatchable due to the plot holes, and over the silly over top stunts happening every 5 minutes.
I can agree to the last bit… And will agree to disagree on the rest. :)
This movie was fun and you sucked all the fun out of it. Willis kicked butt. So what if it got absurd, that’s what action movies are for. I agree the jet scene was stupid (there isnt even an F35), but I could pick apart your bad writing too just for fun. How easy would that be? lol
[quote post=”2652″]I could pick apart your bad writing too just for fun. How easy would that be? [/quote]
It would be very easy. It would also be your prerogative to do so, and shame on me for publishing the content without proofreading and corrections. In fact, people do frequently do this, and while I call them grammar Nazi’s in jest, I do take their corrections seriously as constructive criticism.
Similarly, Die Hard 4 is a product made for public consumption. I paid to see it, so I am entitled to my opinion, just like you are entitled to yours about my atrocious grammar and spelling.
I’m glad you liked it. Good for you! That means you probably belong to the target demographic they were aiming for. Quite obviously I am not part of that demographic.
Personally I thought that Willis’ character was neutered and tamed down to an almost intolerable level compared with the other installments in the series. He didn’t even say his catchphrase in this one. He was far from kicking butt. But again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
hahhahahaha nice article, totally agree with all your points.dh4 was utter nonsense, after investing an hour in watching it , i just treated it as a comedy, and yh that plane “stunt” was ludicrous. for me personally as an it pro, the funniest comment was the one above
“Put it on a portable disk,”,
yeah let me have a look in my bag, im sure i packed my 500 exabyte external usb drive, dont worry though its usb 2.0, so should only take a year to transfer the backup !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
best films were the old bond movies which had real stunts, the best had to be the car corkscrewing on the jump over the river in the man with the golden gun.
jet surfing hahahahahahhahahah nice 1
Did it annoy anyone that the 85 pound weakling chick in this movie was not only a brilliant hacker but also as formidable an opponent in a fight as a prime Mike Tyson. Please this anorexic chick couldn’t hurt any grown man with her puny body and furthermore would have slept permanently if Willis ever smacked her. This womens equality stuff is beyond ridiculous.
@Kevin: I don’t think it’s an “equality” thing as much as the “tiny martial arts chick kicks ass of dudes 3 times her size” syndrome. Let’s face it – this shit happens in like every other action movie. It is a very popular trope.
I found this entry while doing a search on “practical hacking in Live Free or Die Hard,” fully expecting whoever would write such an article to tear the movie apart, as you have done. My mom roped me into seeing this last weekend, as a “real hacker movie” to share with her techie offspring.
The film lost me at the point that keyboards were wired to explode (without the user noticing that it had been tampered with?) I mentioned this to my mom, and she asked why I just couldn’t suspend my disbelief for the film. But as someone who works with computers every day, it still rankles to see hacking still confused with cracking, and to see either/both so misrepresented in film as a plot device (hackers are EVAL DEMIGODS who are SMUG AND CONCEITED and will HAXX0R THE COUNTRY to prove how superior they are!!!!!111) Hasn’t there been enough of that in cinema?
Lol, i think you kind of failed to realize that they are in the CIA or w.e that top high up government department is, Point is….people who are like, CIA, or specialize in computers and programming in the CIA, most likely have programs and have the education far beyond your average “hacker”
but im just saying, CIA can fuck anyone’s computer up…
god wrote:
And they get that “special” education from where exactly? Are there special schools where you can learn computer science the CIA way? No. They recruit computer specialists from the same pool of candidates other organizations do. The people who work on technology in CIA are not some genetically modified super-geniuses who were trained to be hackers from birth. They are normal people with CS degrees from US universities. They don’t have special skills or knowledge.
Now I’m sure they have some in-house tools they use to collect data, brute force passwords and etc. So do commercial computer security firms for that matter. And research teams at universities. Chances are though they all are using similar open source tools that are currently out there.
Their main advantage is that they can work with various corporations and organizations to fuck you up. Your router for example may have a built in back door you don’t know about placed there by your ISP. The same ISP may be tracking you without your knowledge and handing over all your info to FBI, CIA and whoever else asks and shows them a badge of some sort. They may have put a van few blocks from your house and are snooping on your wifi with a directional antenna.
Essentially they have contacts, resources and manpower beyond that of an average “hacker” but not necessarily the education.
To be completely honest, I don’t think you understood this movie very well. Most of what they did is “theoretically” possible with rootkits and such, but it would take a lot longer, but it’s a movie so you need to make exceptions. I recognize that the odds of something like this happening are absurd, but you should probably recall that this is a “movie” and not a “documentary.” I think you were probably talking to your friends about how bogus the stuff was the whole movie instead of watching due to all the facts about it you missed. For example Willis destroying 2 helicopters, they were the same one and the first attack only knocked a guy out of it.
As a conclusion, I suggest u learn a little more about what is possible with computers before you down on a movie that was clearly all about the thrills and not the realism. If you do have any significant computer knowledge, use this as a launch point to educate your friends and family so as to give “hackers” a better name than what they currently have.
Will you guys lighten up and get a grip? It a stinking MOVIE. it for ENTERTAINMENT! It wasn’t made for all you schmucks to show each other how much sarter you are than the rest of the world. Get a freaking life. Geez, that’s why I hate looking for tech info in bulletin boards and forums. You get 1 or two answers and 37 people cat fighting why the other two are right or wrong and who is the smartest idiot on the forum.
@ Jerry P.:
No, I will not. You see, your attitude is exactly why Hollywood gets away with shit like this. Please stop defending them. They just don’t give a shit about technology, and this annoys me. I write software for a living, and I worked in IT all my life. I have masters in Computer Science and I published peer reviewed papers. Every single job I held in my life dealt with technology – it’s my life long passion, my profession and my hobby. So when movies get the stuff I leave and breathe every day so horribly wrong that it is completely unrecognizable, it annoys me.
No it does not cost a lot of money, nor does it take a lot of work. When you do it right, it makes a world of difference. And it has been done in some huge movies.
Have you watched Matrix? Yeah, most of it is science fiction, but when they hack you actually see real unix terminals. Hell trinity even uses real security tools and exploits.
Have you watched the new Tron? Every single time they use a computer console you see them typing real unix commands.
Have you seen Social Network? The entire opening sequence in which he “hacks” the university servers is absolutely plausible, and very very realistic.
These examples above are also “only movies”. They are also blockbusters. They are also targeted at “us schmucks” but at everyone. If they can do it right, why other movies can’t?
Seriously, ask your doctor what does he think about how medicine is portrayed in the movies? Ask your lawyer what he thinks about Hollywood portrayal of courtroom proceedings. Ask astronomers and physicists what they think about the horrendous pseudo-science in most movies. Pretty much every professional will probably have a bone to pick with something in some movie.
Also, regarding online forums: you must be new here. Please look up eternal September.
Luke Maciak wrote:
He did say his catch phrase when he got shot in the shoulder. They said “Your tombstone should read always in the wrong place at the wrong time….to which he replied, “How about yipee kay ay mother fucker” and shot himself to get the other guy….
it is a movie – don;t break it down so much you little cry baby. What did you expect? For hollywood to show you how to hack? You are a douche nugget. I liked the part where bruce willis took down a motorcycle with a car….that was badass….I didn’t come to see a movie to make sure that they portray hackers in a realistic way. I personally like it when hollywood does this as it sheds less light on things.
jdogsquareawesomenessmofo wrote:
By that logic no movie ever made could be criticized for it’s flaws. “It’s a movie” is not an excuse. There are movies out there that do a much better job than this, and I will praise them. On the other hand, when I see flaws, I point them out.
jdogsquareawesomenessmofo wrote:
I expected them to at least make an attempt to make it look like they are using real computers. It can be done. Matrix Revolutions for example shown an entire hack sequence in which Trinity uses nmap (a real, existing port scanner) and then exploits an old ssh buffer overflow bug to get access to a power plant control computer. It was realistic, believable and it actually conveyed the message perfectly without confusing the viewers.
The entire opening sequence of The Social Network is a beautifully realistic portrayal of hacking/programming. They don’t show exactly what he is doing, but his monologue does reveal a lot of the security holes he used. The entire scene is unambiguous and the technical jargon is not only accurate, but it also serves to establish the main character as a highly intelligent, and skilled computer guy.
Hell, Tron Legacy has a lot of sequences that are just unix command prompt, and actual real commands being typed.
It has been done properly in quite a few movies. In this one they did not even try.
jdogsquareawesomenessmofo wrote:
Me neither. Honestly, I do not want to see hackers and programmers in action movies at all. I prefer if the plots do not involve my life long passion and my industry. That’s because Hollywood is notorious for getting it wrong. But if they insist on injecting a “hacker” into their movie, they might as well do it right, rather than half-ass it.
jdogsquareawesomenessmofo wrote:
How is that a good thing? Do you mean hacking specifically? I mean, it’s not like it’s some mysterious arcane discipline. The main reason things are “hackable” is because people are lax with security and irresponsible. Shedding less light on the techniques used to commonly exploit systems is actually counter productive.
We don’t need to shed less light, we need more. We need a halogen lamp pointed at buggy implementations, and common mistakes so that people learn how to plug them.
numb3r_5ev3n wrote:
The keyboards weren’t wired to explode. The bad guys sent them a “virus” that blew up their computer when they hit the delete key. Too bad the virus couldn’t manage to do that by itself lol…
You f**king nailed it. I just saw this movie and was surprised the masses lapped it up so readily. Aside from some editorial input your post is spot on, I’m just disappointed more people don’t see it for what it is.