I don’t actually watch TV much. That is, I don’t veg out on the couch and stare at the tube for hours on end. When I come back home from work, I relax by typing a lot of badly spelled words into a text box in my browser. Most of these words end up on this very page. I usually keep the TV off, or on mute when I blog or work because I find it distracting. Same goes for music really – when I concentrate I want some peace and quiet. When I’m just browsing the web or doing something else, I usually enjoy some background noise. So I usually watch TV as I’m doing something else – eating, cleaning the house, redditing or trying to fall asleep. Yes, I have no problem falling asleep with the TV on, but when I work it bothers me. Go figure.
You can probably tell I am not much of a TV viewer. To make matter worse, I am very picky about my programming. For some strange reason I like my entertainment to be at least a little bit intellectually stimulating. I don’t just want to sit there staring at the idiot box. I tell this to people and they usually look at me like I’m from mars – like I’m the fucking Valentine Michael Smith. Intellectual stimulation with entertainment? You must be jesting sir! Entertainment should be dumb and baseless, otherwise it’s work!
I guess I am a strange man but I just cannot watch reality TV, and I don’t tolerate stupid shows. I just can’t stand that stuff. Every time I watch a reality TV show I die a little inside. I already gave up on all the major networks out there because that’s all they show. Well, that and celebrity gossip and sensationalized local bullshit they try to pass off as news. They are waste of time. My TV watching habits gravitate more toward niche networks that offer very specific kinds of entertainment: history channel, discovery channel, science channel, animal planet, etc…
There was a time in my life when I could tune into History Channel and watch a World War II documentary, a show about ancient weapons of war or an archeology piece on Egypt. Nowadays when I put it on all I see is:
- Truckers
- Lumberjacks
- Pawn shop owners
- Some dudes who buy old crap on yard sales
- UFO hunters talking to rednecks and drunks
- Dudes who consistently fail to scientifically prove existence of legendary monsters every fucking week
- Infuriatingly idiotic shows about Nostradamus, “the bible code” or 2012 bullshit
- Documentaries about contemporary urban gangs and motorcycle clubs
What the fuck any of that stuff have anything to do with history? To make matters worse, the first 4 items on this list are full fledged reality TV shows in stealth mode. They are more about the personalities of the “characters” they follow around, than about anything else. They pretend they are not by having the narrator say something smart once per episode, or maybe flash some data on the screen for 5 seconds. Most of the time these things are about dudes cursing at each other, or “playfully bickering” for the cameras.
Obligatory Graph Jam Picture. I'm not the only person who noticed it.
I’m not saying that they should air nothing but history (actually, they should – hence the network name, but I’m an open minded guy) – they can keep shows like Modern Marvels and The Universe. These are actually pretty decent and watchable. I just want them to get rid of all the fucking truckers and lumberjacks.
Discovery is the same exact shit. Bunch of horrible, cringe worthy reality TV shows, conspiracy theories, monster hunting, ghost searching, UFO spotting, and etc. Then again this is an improvement. Not so long ago Discovery had like 8 reality shows that followed the antics of custom motorcycle builders, custom car builders, random grease monkeys, extreme home renovation teams and all that bullshit. Even Myth Busters went down hill over time. It used to be a show about using science to prove or disprove urban legends. Now it is about using explosives to blow shit up, while the axillary cast members do the fake bickering in front of camera. In one of the more recent shows for example, their Scooby Doo team consisting of a hot chick, a nerdy Asian guy and a an idiot jock were tasked with finding out whether or not someone can be literally “knocked out of his socks”. Of course they accomplished it by repetitively setting off explosives next to a test dummy they had wearing a pair socks. I cried a little on the inside.
Granted, the show was always a bit shaky with the science side of things, but it was vastly better when it was just Adam Savage and the Manwalrus doing their thing on their own, without actually being forced to act on camera. Every time they do a “team meeting” or pretend like they are brainstorming on camera I can’t help but cringe. But I digress.
I used to love the SciFi channel back when they mostly aired science fiction, MST3K and late night anime. Then they started showing horror and fantasy, but I didn’t really mind it that much – especially since they had excellent original SF shows on Friday nights. Then they canceled Farscape, started airing wrestling and eventually re-branded themselves as SyFy to make it clear they no longer care about their original focus. I have not watched that network since BSG series finale – and I just don’t see a reason to change that. The way I see it, they are probably degenerated to the point where they are running all day marathons of “Ow! My Balls!” these days.
I am really sick and tired of this constant network decay. Every network I actually liked seems to be turning into be slowly morphing into a sensationalist, reality TV heaven. Major networks are shit. You can’t get reliable and unbiased news on TV anymore either. Now all the niche channels I loved are running garbage shows I don’t care about. TV is pretty much useless to me right now. The only places I can still find some ok content lately are the premium channels like HBO or Showtime that air newish movies sometimes manage to produce halfway decent series. That and a rare odd show on regular cable that actually is worth watching. Sadly most of those get canceled after few episodes, or jump the shark after the first season.
Are there any decent cable networks out there that are still watchable and air content that I would enjoy? It seems that every single channel these days is hell bent on replacing all their content with reality shows. What do you watch on TV these days?
I agree. TV blows these days. I think its because (and I’m no expert) reality shows are WAY cheaper to air than real quality programming. Reality shows don’t need fancy sets or special effects, high paid actors, writers, or fancy pants cameras, and they can get away with airing them for 2 hours! Crap on network television such as The Bachelor and The Biggest Loser stretch out for two hours! Thats a ton of savings rather than paying (at least) 2 sets of writers, actors etc….
and people watch it too, so its unlikely to stop
Well, I’m from Portugal, so instead of shitty channels in English, I get:
* 4 national generalist channels, which basically have gossip, stupid talk-shows and terrible, terrible soaps.
* some specific national channels which are basically lower-cost copies of American channels
* ten or so subtitled American channels (Fox, Hollywood, etc), where the best content is the 11th season of The Simpsons, in its 6th re-run.
* 30 or so non-subtitled, foreign channels (am I supposed to learn German, French or Italian?)
The only decent show is Britcom, in our second public channel, which shows British comedies.
So I basically don’t watch TV anymore, but with the Interwebs, I don’t really miss it. It’s simply a superior system for information consumption.
I’ve got another example for you. My little sister didn’t know that TLC used to be “The Learning Channel.” Since it is all trash now, she was pretty surprised to hear TLC viewers used to actually learn things. Even NatGeo is hard to watch; I can only watch so many gross tribal rituals.
I started buying BBC documentaries. I took the plunge on Attenborough’s Life collection – and I haven’t regretted it. No disrespect to Sigourney Weaver, but the US versions of these films just aren’t as good. Oprah is voicing one of them, which is shocking, but you can still buy the British versions.
Completely agree. My TV isn’t even connected to any broadcast signal – the only inputs are from my Media PC, DVD player and Xbox. Any decent shows I want to see, I get on DVD and watch as and when I choose. Even that is mostly Showtime and HBO stuff. The only possible reason I can see to get broadcast TV these days is live sport. And I don’t watch any sport so it means I don’t watch any TV.
@ cody loyd:
Yep, that is precisely why they show them. Still, it pisses me off that even the niche channels that were created to cater to viewers with specific tastes are now getting on this bandwagon. If some random network shows reality all day – I don’t care. When History and Animal Planet show reality all day, I get annoyed because I expected them to at least try to be true to their name.
@ IceBrain:
Heh, that’s fairly similar to what I had when I was living in Poland 12 yeas ago (give or take):
2 national channels (subsidized by the govt) running re-runs of American movies or TV shows 80% of the time, taking short breaks to air fledgling domestic soap operas, news or some kind of political debate. Oh and commercials – with everybody going “why the fuck are there commercials here when I have to pay mandatory tax for this shit if I have a TV in the house”. The translation was provided by a “lector” who would read over the english sound track.
5-6 privately ran channels running more recent Hollywood movies and American TV shows which had more money for the licensing. They also did more edgy news. They also sometimes dubbed the films and shows.
2-3 local channels that no one actually watched
5-6 British channels including MTV, Cartoon Network, Sky News, Discovery and etc..
A shitload of German-language channels that I couldn’t watch due to the language barrier as well as handful of French and Scandinavian ones that I did not understand either. :P
When I moved to the states and discovered SciFi channel I pretty much had a nerdgasm. Classic SF movies, classic SF shows, MST3k and late night anime. Those were the days…
Now it’s all pretty much gone. The only programming segment I still enjoy is [adult swim].
@ jambarama:
Yeah, I mentioned the TLC fact at work the other day and most of my coworkers were surprised.
Oh, and I don’t actually get why do people feel the need to re-make or re-dub British nature documentaries for the American market. We speak the same fucking language – we just drop the extra letters from words like color and humor. :P
Also, Americanized versions of British shows usually change the formula for worse – eg: British Office > the American Office
I do watch reality TV shows sometimes, but usually with someone else (friends, family,…). We watch it as we would watch a bad sci-fi movie, because they’re usually so bad it’s very easy to find flaws and criticize. As some kind of group entertainment it works, but if I’m alone I have better things to do.
I like to annoy people who take it seriously by making prognostics about who will leave or be eliminated based on the time spent on them in the last episode, their crying scene or lack thereof, a big revelations and the message the writer wants to pass (disabled people are better than “normals”, sport champions are no better, etc…).
Still, I think TV channels are stuck in a vicious circle. They want more viewers, and reality TV brings a lot without costing too much. But introducing some of these programs will make their old fanbase move away from them. Since they have to cater to the majority of their audience, now reality TV people, they make more of these programs, pushing away ever further the first time fans.
I have seen several specialized channels get started in France. Guess what : they all died without a few months, years for the best. The programs were good, but producing them costs money and they can’t face the competition of cheap reality TVs channels and their tons of viewers when they look for ads to fund them.
Really, I don’t watch much on TV these days. Usually I record The Big Bang Theory on a Monday night (but courtesy of Channel Nine, it’s repeats for Easter), occasionally I watch the news and maybe watch some Stargate or Star Trek on the Scifi Channel (which is starting to turn into your American one).
But mostly if anything interests me, I set it up to record to our PVR and watch it when I feel like it.
Long time blog reader, first time commenter. CHeck out Infomania on Current TV and Link TV if you are into ‘alternative media’. Most of Current’s content can be found online on their website or on Hulu.
TV sucks, and I hate most everything on it. I do watch Fringe, and it hasn’t gone too far off the reservation yet.
Not too long ago I acquired a copy of a PBS mini-series called “The LAst Enemy” and it was AWESOME. I generally hate PBS, though.
Lived overseas when I was growing up, and I’ve been deployed a bunch of times. We still play the “make up your own words” game. Soap operas in Arabic and Korean can be HILARIOUS!
Btw guys – I just realized that Military Channel is what History Channel used to be: all history documentaries all the time, except when they do the boot-camp training videos, or shows about weapons. Nice!