Wifi at Starbucks

I was at a local Starbucks today and since I had few minutes to kill I figured that I will check my email, and hit up bloglines. After all, these coffee shops usually have free wifi, right?

Wrong. It seems that everyone, but starbucks has free wifi. In SB you have to pay out of your ass to browse the web for 5 minutes. Why is that?

The Starbucks business model seems to be selling overpriced burnt coffee, and overpriced sucky T-Mobile wifi to customers who happily bend over and take it. The only way they can get away with it, is because they are all over the place. Seriously, you can be walking around minding your own business and then suddenly BOOM! You are in a friken Starbucks buying venti moco chocko carmelato mato pumpkin flavored smacker dacker or whatever else they are selling there. They just blindside you without any warning, and sooner or later you end up giving them your money for some crazy coffe flavored crap with a funny name.

Who the hell comes up with these product names anyway? I think that when it’s time to come up with new drinks they break out the good old mad libs:

Ladies and gentlemen, our new coffee drink will be named… banana jeronimo wacky strawbery mocha poop cup.

And who is the genius that decided it would be a good idea to call your small sized drinks tall? I wonder if they did it on purpose so that they can re-enact the famous “who’se on first” routine every single morning. Because you know there will always be that one guy who haven’t had his morning caffeine fix hell bent on ordering a small but definitely not not a tall coffee…

I always find it funny how they have their own language in these stores. Apparently, venti means super huge, and barista means “I’m a stuck up little emo fuck who is way to proud to flip burgers and who will be rude as hell and mess up your order every single time cause he/she doesn’t give a fuck”.

I usually do not use Wifi in coffee shops. I get in, get my caffeine and get out. But this time I had some time to kill and so I figured I might as well use it. Too bad they have the retarded T-Mobile deal. And if that wasn’t bad enough, one of the hinges on my laptop broke. I might need to replace the whole display or just do what this guy did. Anyways, I totally blame the god damned baristas for this. Not that they had anything to do with it – it’s just that their job title annoys me.

Meh… Next time if I want free wifi, I’ll just go to the Panera’s across the street. I’m not sure that soups and bread mesh well with laptop usage but who cares. I’m suspecting they installed wifi just to piss off the Starbucks crew.

[tags]starbucks, coffe, laptop, hinge, barista, venti, tall[/tags]

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3 Responses to Wifi at Starbucks

  1. Akula UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:


    No really Starbucks is the Walmart of coffee houses (without the low prices). It is not cool or trendy to go to Starbucks……it’s stupid.

    Go to a country like Thailand where the average meal cost $2….how much is a Starbucks coffee??? $6. How much does the chick behind the counter make a day in a 10 hour shift??? About $5. She can’t even afford one drink.

    There is a corner in my town that has 3 Starbucks(on full shop, one inside a Safeway and one inside a medical building). Three block from there is anouther corner with two Starbucks on the same block, go the other way and you will find a sixth Starbucks…all within about 7 blocks.

    Don’t support Starbucks! :)

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  2. Luke UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    I don’t go there often. In fact, I personally think that Dunkin Donuts coffee tastes better (it’s not as bitter and burnt). The only thing I like at Starbucks are their frapuccino things…

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  3. jenn UNITED STATES Safari Mac OS says:

    Hahah, poop cup.
    I love Panera.

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