Two types of Lusers

There are two types of lusers in this world: slow and ignorant.

Slow lusers really can’t help their condition. Their brains are simply not wired correctly to handle mutli-level abstractions and fast context switching required to understand and operate electronic devices. This is not to say they are stupid people. Most slow lusers are in fact bright, skilled and educated individuals. They have often excellent social, networking and communication skills. They simply are not accustomed to working with technology and require extensive training. They often try really hard to improve their technology skills, but they forget things, get lost and get things wrong easily.

You can easily identify a slow lusers as they will ask questions, and take notes (actually write things down on paper as you explain them). They will often stop you, and ask you to break down the steps for them, or to translate the tech jargon into layman terms for them. These are the good guys, and they are in vast minority. The slow luser numbers steadily decrease because eventually they either learn a few skills, and cease to be lusers or die trying.

Ignorant lusers are also mostly smart, and competent people. Unlike the slow lusers however, they are perfectly capable of picking up new technology skills, and often will figure out things for themselves if they can’t get a hold off an IT person for a long period of time. They simply choose not to do it. Their problems with comprehending technology are a matter of personal choice. They feel that they do not need to know anything about security, viruses, spyware and etc. because they can always have the IT guy or their computer whiz nephew fix stuff for them. They don’t even care about learning how to use the most advanced features of Word and Outlook despite the fact that they use those tools every day. They simply assume that things like setting up their email, or installing printer drivers is somehow below them.

You can easily spot ignorant users, because will straight out tell you that they are idiots. Usually the first wort out of them mouth when they see you is “I don’t know anything about computers” or “I’m a technology idiot”. Furthermore, they will refuse to describe their problem to you, they won’t listen to your explanations, and get impatient if you can’t fix their problem within the first 30 seconds counting from the time when they tell you how stupid they are. Oh, and they will also annoy the shit out of you. These lusers need to shut the hell up and die.

If you read this and you say to yourself “Oh crap, I’m a Ignorant Luser!” don’t worry. You are on the right track to stop being one. Here are a few pointers for you:

First, stop telling geeks your are an idiot. We already know that, so it is redundant.

Second, learn to ask the right questions, and pay attention to the answers. How do you do that? Ask a question, take a note of the answer and try to remember it for future reference. If you do not understand the answer, revise your question and try again. You know, it’s kinda like with any other fucking thing in the world. The fact that you are to lazy to learn new things, does not mean you can avoid learning them for the rest of your life. Especially if your job requires you to have a set rudimentary computer skills.

Third, it is sometimes good to use your brain when you deal with technology. I know that your natural instinct is to switch off your logical reasoning as soon as you sit down at the computer screen. Just try to fight it every once in a while. I know it is a incredibly wild and outlandish idea, but trust me on this. Some computer problems can be resolved by using common sense and logic and google.

If you read all of this above, and you think I’m a pompous, arrogant, condescending jackass, you are definitely an ignorant luser and I hate you, so please STFU and die.

Explanation for Lusers: Before you post a “ZOMG dude, u cnt spell!!11″ comment, please note that I know how to spell loser. Please go educate yourself on the proper jargon: luser.

[tags]technology, lusers, users, rant, humor[/tags]

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9 Responses to Two types of Lusers

  1. Wikke BELGIUM Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    Hail!

    this is fun to read :)

    maybe it can become usfull sometimes when i have to deal with an ignorant customer :p

    Reply  |  Quote
  2. hdw UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    I believe there might be a small third type. They would be both slow and ignorant.

    Reply  |  Quote
  3. Luke UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Linux says:

    Yeah… But I can totally live with the slow part. It’s the ignorant part of their personality that is absolutely infuriating. :P

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  4. hdw UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    Good point.

    Reply  |  Quote
  5. ambush CANADA Safari Mac OS says:

    uhm, just before the ignorant section starts you have this
    “The slow luser numbers steadily decrease because eve” which doesn’t make a whole lot a sense, I suggest replacing it with something like this
    “The slow luser numbers steadily decrease because eventually they can learn a few basic things and they’re usually old so they retire or die or something”

    Reply  |  Quote
  6. Luke UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Linux says:

    Thanks ambush, I must have zoned out there for a second and skipped half of a sentence. I fixed it now. :P

    Reply  |  Quote
  7. Matt` UNITED KINGDOM Mozilla Firefox Windows Terminalist says:

    theres also the type of person who already knows their way around a computer to a certain level but thinks that they know it all

    or who already know one system and expect a new system to be exactly like the old one but also better in some strange undefined way – e.g. people making the transition from Windows to Linux

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  8. MuZumbu ROMANIA Internet Explorer Windows says:

    Actualy I lived in the same room ( in coleage ) for one year with someone that latter become a very close friend of mine. From the begining he showed bot caracteristics of the slow and the ignorant luser. But in time, after I got to know him a liitle bit I discovered that underneath that ignorant user was a very eager person to learn. After all this time that I know him ( about 4 years ) he is still slow in some areas, still needs to ask me for some things but al least he isn’t ignorant anymore. My ideaa is that sometimes , some l-users may become decent users. Just a thought.

    PS. I don’t think this could become trendy … :D

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  9. frits UNITED STATES Internet Explorer Windows says:

    First, stop telling geeks your are an idiot.

    Hmmm…Seems everyone’s an idiot from time to time.

    Reply  |  Quote

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