Use of Middle Urinal Considered Harmful

There are many jokes about mens room etiquette out there. I’m not really trying to make one here. But there are some things that are just plain common sense.

Consider a public restroom with 3 urinals placed uncomfortably close to each other. And by close, I mean “shoulder to shoulder” and “dude, you fucking stepped on my shoe” close. You walk in, and there is no one there. Which urinal do you take?

3 Urinals

I might be going out on a limb here, but I would always choose either the left or the right urinal – never the middle one. Why? Because if someone comes in after me, they can comfortably take the urinal on the opposite side. It’s common sense, and common courtesy. Why do people insist to pee at the middle urinal in a situation like that is beyond me.

But this is exactly what happened today. I walk into this stupid restroom, and there is a dude standing at the middle urinal. Not only that. He also plopped his backpack on the floor directly in front of the right urinal, and stuck his calculus book behind the pipe on the left one. WTF?

So now, everyone who walks in, does the same fucking thing.

  1. looks at the jackass taking up the middle urinal
  2. pauses for a second trying tho figure out the distances and the angle of approach
  3. does the universal WTF gesture with his arms
  4. gives up and decides to use the stall.

People peeing in the middle urinal suck! Don’t be an ass – pick a side, and stick to it.

Of course if there are more than 3 urinals, if they are spaced out in some sane manner, or if they put those little divider things between them it does not really matter that much anymore.

[tags]bathroom, restroom, urinal, mens room, toilet[/tags]

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13 Responses to Use of Middle Urinal Considered Harmful

  1. Miloš UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    LMAO!!! I second this motion! LOL!

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  2. Elephantman UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    I was always amused by how; having coming into the bathroom to find all the urinals (in service), I use the stall appropriately, then come out and find everyone out of the bathroom.
    Now, normally when this happens the stall is unbearably disgusting; the opposite of sterile, if I may. And so; the opposite being,

    Nice, quiet piss by yourself, and for some reason, the whole world has now entered Taco Bell, because, by the time you get out of the bathroom you’re quite uncomfortable with all the strange people filtering in and out, all around and babbling all the while about how much money they spent…

    Is this just me?
    Anyway, you got this pic from urinal. net I think it is?

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  3. Craig Betts UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Mac OS Terminalist says:

    Yeah, he broke the unwritten rule. It is our duty to help educate people further. We need to distribute this video . . . LINKY

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  4. ambush CANADA Safari Mac OS says:

    that reminds me of this.

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  5. Luke UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    Craig and Ambush – lol!

    Elephantman – I actually took the pic myself. ;)

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  6. Matt` UNITED KINGDOM Mozilla Firefox Windows Terminalist says:

    Other important men’s room ettiquette – do not make eye contact with anyone for any purpose or appear to be looking at any other part of anyone except the back, possibly the chest or arms/hands (but *not* if these hands are engaged with the obvious)

    And in general, get in, do what you have to and get right the hell out – no loitering

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  7. Luke UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    No! No looking at the other dudes, period. You are allowed to briefly acknowledge the presence of a friend, coworker or a acquaintance with a short glance and a nod – then you go about your own business. :mrgreen:

    When you are at the urinal you can look downwards to aim, straight ahead into the tile work on the wall or straight up. If you are at the corner one, you can also stare at the wall on the side. :P

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  8. Matt` UNITED KINGDOM Mozilla Firefox Windows Terminalist says:

    So whats the policy for a long trough-style urinal?
    You definitely have to go to the ends by preference, and if its not greater than a certain length, the middle spot is a no-go zone, but how much distance does it take?

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  9. Luke UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    What do you mean by “long trough-style urinal”? You mean like when they don’t actually have separate urinals but a whole contraption that takes the whole wall?

    I think the rules are the same – you want to maximize your distance from all the people already using the thing.

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  10. Matt` UNITED KINGDOM Mozilla Firefox Windows Terminalist says:

    Exactly the thing I meant – essentially a really long bucket with just enough incline to get pee to flow to one end.

    and yes, maximisation of distance is the way to go, but if its not very long, and both ends are taken, the correct etiquette is either to come back later or go and find a cubicle.

    So what’s the threshold level on the length of a urinal for it to be permissible to go in the middle?

    Also, whats the etiquette on hands-washing, does it change when theres a queue for the sinks?

    this is a very wide-ranging subject, wonder if theres a thesis to be found in it…

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  11. Craig Betts UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Solaris Terminalist says:

    I think all men to serve in the military. You will get used to peeing right next to someone with no worries. What gets you over this is taking a crap next to someone with no partitions. Yeah, throw modesty out the window in boot camp!

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  12. Elephantman UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    Ah, there is no threshold level on the length of a urinal for it to be normal to go in the middle.
    Consider a curious fellow on the left or right end; which, if he may find it necessary to feed his interest, looks, what three feet away to find the middle man in a compromising position. The far right man may turn somewhat away and still manage to angle himself away from any possibility of viewing. But it is the middle man that find himself wondering; where may I turn so that I won’t be seen? To the left is the same as to the right. Either way, you’re still in view.
    So therefore; never go into the middle regardless of the length.

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