We Make Intellectual Jokes

I have absolutely nothing for today, so I will do a little trick called audience participation. Let’s post intellectual jokes in this thread right here. The idea is to find all the geekiest jokes that are only funny to a small niche group of people in the know. Usually jokes in this domain are technology or science related. I will tart you off with couple of jokes, but the rest is up to you. Here we go:

If This is Blue...

See what I did there? It doesn’t need to be image humor either. For example this one (be warned it’s been done to death so no groaning):

Q: Why do programmers often confuse Halloween and Christmas?
A: OCT 31 == DEC 25

Schrödinger’s cat jokes are all the rage these days:

Dead AND Alive

Or perhaps this:

Q: What’s a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

Anyway, you get the idea. Now it’s up to you to make this post funny! :mrgreen:

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15 Responses to We Make Intellectual Jokes

  1. Craig Betts UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Mac OS Terminalist says:

    There are 10 kinds of people in the world . . .

    Those that understand binary and those that don’t.

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  2. Luke Maciak UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    @Craig – I made your link into a picure. :) Also, cached with imgred.com to save you bandwidth. :) Oh, and if I ever had a bug, I would definitely get that license plate. Love it! lol

    Oh, and here is th subversion of the classing 10 kinds of people jokes:

    @Jake – heh, these are great! There are more of these around – I keep finding new ones all the time. :)

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  3. Craig Betts UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Mac OS Terminalist says:

    Well you can pretty much include the following websites for geek humor:

    User Friendly

    One One Se7en
    (okay, it is stretching it a bit, but what geek doesn’t like Halo?)

    Of course, there are MANY more, but these are my top favorites.

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  4. Matt` UNITED KINGDOM Mozilla Firefox Windows Terminalist says:

    An economist, a logician and a mathematician are on a train from England to Scotland together, shortly after they cross the border they see a brown cow in a field near the train tracks.

    The economist says “Look, the cows in Scotland are brown”
    The logician says “At least one of the cows in Scotland are brown”
    and the mathematician says “There is at least one cow in Scotland, at least one side of which is brown”

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  5. Luke Maciak UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    @Craig Heh… We could essentially post every xkcd strip here. :) They are all awesome.

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  6. vacri AUSTRALIA Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    A chemist, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a desert island with nothing to eat when one day a pallet of tinned food washes up on the beach. The chemist says “Well, I can collect some compounds from the island to make a caustic paste, and we can burn the tins open to get to the food.”

    The physicist says “That’s too dangerous, and it could adversely affect the food. I can rig up an armature with some wood and a couple of rocks, and we can break the tins open.”

    The economist says “You’re both thinking too hard. Opening these tins is simple: First, assume you have a can opener…”

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  7. Jake UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Linux says:

    On the line of webcomics, PHD Comics are also quite funny. I also like Hackles, but it is no longer updated.

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  8. ZeWrestler UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    You mean like this one. It brings me back to our Fundamentals of Programming Class we took

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  9. Matt Doar UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    What’s purple and commutes? An Abelian grape.


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  10. Jeff CANADA Mozilla Firefox Mac OS says:

    Here’s one for the English nerds:

    (seen on a t-shirt)

    “Believe me…
    I’m incredible.”

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  11. Wikke BELGIUM Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    For 2 cisco routers connected:

    router1> hostname pong
    router2> ping pong

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  12. Phil UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    Math-based jokes usually suck. These are no exception.

    What’s the square root of -69?
    I 8 something.

    All my friends are mathematical: they’re either irrational or imaginary.

    And from Robert Heinlein, the setup is a guy is explaining humor to an AI.
    Guy: “Tell a joke once, you’re a wit. Tell the same joke twice, you’re a half-wit.”
    Computer: “Geometric progression?”

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  13. Luke Maciak UNITED STATES Mozilla Firefox Windows says:

    On that note – I think that ST:TNG totally killed the “AI’s don’t get humor” joke. There were times I wanted to punch Data in the face until he segfaults – and I didn’t even watch that show regularly or anything. It just seems that every time that show is on TV I see the damn android failing hard at trying to be more human.

    So any time there is a storyline about an AI learning human things like humor, compassion or beauty I get flashback of Data being annoying again. Sigh…

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