So I just woke up, and I’m 30 years old… Fuck everything about this.
Yesterday was still a 20-something. Today I must refer to myself as a 30-something. I was not prepared! There should be some gradual process that helps you ease into this 30 year old thing. I guess I had to know this was coming. Somewhere in the back of my head I had to realize I was about to cross some unfathomable age threshold. But knowing about it did not prepare me for crossing it.
Now I am going to have to choose a totally different age bracket when I fill out online forms. You know, they always have these little groupings: “18-20”, “20-25”, “25-30” and “oh, hey – you are no longer our target demographic”.
Ok… I’m exaggerating. It’s probably not that bad. Apologies to all my readers above 30. I’m totally stoked to join your ranks, but I feel like I got here ahead of time. I always figured that probably by the time I’m 30 I will have my life more or less figured out. It wasn’t up until last year that I realized that this was probably an overly optimistic estimate.
Few weeks ago I was talking to a friend – we finished our Masters together and graduated around the same time. He was telling me about the new deck he is putting on his house. A deck… I haven’t actually expected to have a conversation like this with someone in my age group. Owning a deck (and a house that’s attached to it) is something I always imagine happening to me in a distant future. But apparently this future is here – it is a reality for people I have graduated with. It is quite bizarre.
Worst part is that I just don’t feel any different than I felt, say 10-15 years ago. They say you are supposed to become more mature and responsible with age but I’m suspecting this is a blatant lie. It almost seems as if being responsible, reliable and dependable seemed more important back when I was younger. I feel like I’m slowly becoming more and more of an expert at not giving a fuck.
In the recent immortality thread, Zel asked me why would I want to live forever. This is part of the answer to this question: life is just too short. When I was a kid, a year seemed to be an eternity and a half. Now, years whip past me so fast I can barely keep track of them. I’m sort of begging to realize that I don’t actually have that much time left to realize my dreams of being a world famous hacker, rock star, super spy astronaut. Especially considering the fact that I am way to lazy to do any rock-staring, super spying or astronauting right now.
Ok, I’m done now. I promise not to make this sort of whining a yearly ritual. I’m turning 30 and I guess I just had to get it out of my system. In fact, let’s all complain about getting old in the comments. This way can get it out of the way, and not talk about anymore… Or at the very least till next year.
On Friday I am reviewing an old, and quite bizarre (and unintentionally funny) SF movie, which is a bit apropos this discussion because it deals with immortality. I just wanted to apologize for the screenshots ahead of time (you will see what I mean).