The other day I was staring at my Google Analytics page looking at the page stats. I was wondering whether or not there was a dip in number of visits lately because I noticed some drop in comment frequency lately. That and the time between I get money from adsense seems to be longer these days. But I think it is probably just my imagination. The graph I got from Analytics shows that my traffic has been very consistent for the past year:
The regular dip pattern you see is the weekend slump. Since there is no new content here on the weekends, and a lot of people choose to sleep in, or do stuff away from the computer on their days off this is to be expected. Still, despite the dips and spikes, the traffic is remarkably consistent usually staying above 1500 and often approaching 2000 hits per day. If you graph it by month, the peaks and valleys even out giving me almost a straight line with a slight upward tendency:
Most of my traffic is from search engines, which is to be expected. 10% of the visits however seem to be direct traffic – which I’m guessing is you guys – the regulars:
That 30% of referred traffic is actually pretty interesting in itself. Here is the breakdown:
One thing I don’t get about this chart is why Google and Google images are shown here, and not in the search engines section. Sadly, I know why Google Images is my top referrer. It’s because that one time I posted a picture of Olivia Munn in the princess Leia slave costume. Oh, and there is also that picture of Power Girl lifting up Super Girls skirt. These are consistently the two most visited pages of my blog apparently. Sign… On a positive note, Reddit, Ubuntu Forums and Rootprompt.org are on this list which is nice.
Roughly 87% of people who visit this site never come back:
This makes me a sad panda, but considering my traffic sources it totally makes sense. People come in for pictures of chix, see book reviews or thoughtful comment threds, suffer instant aneurysm due to accidental knowledge intake and die. Sad but true.
Now the fun stuff. First let’s look at the breakdown of visitors by their operating system:
No surprises here. We can ignore Windows on this list cause it is a given. Linux is obviously second on the list, because that’s sort of my demographic. Mac is obviously third because… Well, it’s like a candy flavored unix distro really – so we geeks have been hitting this up for several years. The SunOS hits are all Craig visiting and posting comments. As I said – not surprising at all… Wait…
Ok, which one of you is using a fucking PS3 to browse my blog? Fess up! I want to know. Oh, and stop browsing the web on your TV – it is bad for your eyes.
Here is the breakdown by browser:
I must say I am totally disappointed in Chrome users. I was expecting you guys to come in second, but you let IE beat you to the punch. Get with the program!
Last but not least, I looked at the search queries people use to find my site. The most common ones were fairly standard and uninteresting. So I ordered them in increasing order, with the least common ones on top, which yielded some interesting results. Below I preset you with some of the more bizarre or funny queries along with my commentary:
- ass tortures – seriously, I don’t even know how this search could have possible turned up my page.
- gasoline and tide bomb – I was actually afraid to google that string while at work to figure what the fuck this is.
- i can’t finish my thesis – see, this one I totally get. I’ve been there – you just have to buckle up and get it done
- shit I’ve lost – some dude decided to google for the shit he lost, and he found my page… Interesting
- disrobing noise – either someone was trying to spell “disturbing” and fucked it up so badly, the spellcheck changed it to disrobing or there is a noise out there that actually disrobes people. Either way, I have no clue what this have to do with my site.
- 30 days of night sucks – I agree 100%
- alyx fuck – I don’t even… I’m just curious as to the thought process that went into formulating this query. When I think about it, I imagine a caveman going “me like alyx… me lie fuck… me search ALYX FUCK”
- am i the only one that wants to fuck wynne “dragon age” – first of all, ew. Second, it’s probably it’s because her body model is the same one they used for Lylianna and Morrigand. Third, ew again.
- anakin and padme kissing fanfiction – did you mean “Star Wars Prequels”. Yeah, I agree – worst fan fiction I have ever seen. Good thing that George Lucas never made these movies.
- anime porn smurfs – I swear, some people have weird ass fetishes. Note that this person is apparently not satisfied with the domestic smurf porn and wants to find Anime version of it. Sigh…
- are some young people old fashioned – Um… In what sense? Old fashioned is such a broad term. I wish I knew what this person was thinking while typing this into Google. I also would like to know how that search turned up my site. Weird.
- at night vampires walking – ok, Twilight fans, you totally need to GTFO now. I’m done making fun of your books. Scram!
- can you spell good by this way – no, you can’t. Next please.
- crash human brain – it took me a minute, but I eventually figured this out. This person was searching for langford baslisks. Here you go random internet person. I hope this helps.
- diapered anime characters – why do people with weird fetishes also like anime? And why do they visit this site? Seriously guys!
- died without a town portal torshlight – I honestly did not know you could misspell Torchlight this way. Fascinating
- do mermaids lay eggs? – Um.. Yeah. That one time I posted this Penny Arcade strip and this is what I get. To answer your question – yes, I would assume they do. I will refer you to that one Futurama episode in which Fry tries to fuck a mermaid.
- do mermen have penises – …. Seriously, WTF guise! This is… No, mermaids do not have penises. Mermen might but only if they are the reverse kind. I will refer you to that Family Guy episode where a reverse merman tries to fuck Lois.
- do third generation werewolves have control over their shifting? – what? No Garrou are not permitted to mate with each other – the resulting metis breed is all fucked up and… Wait… This is about Twilight, isn’t it? GTFO!
- does it look unprofessional to have a yahoo email address – yes it does. I hope this person read my post on this topic and learned from it.
- don’t copy image or text on mouse right click – I really hope this person read my rants on the stupidity of right-click blocking and decided against it… Oh wait. No, people who block right click are impervious to logic.
Anyways, this is all I have for tonight. I just wanted to take this occasion to thank all the regulars (in no particular order: Alphast, Zel, Chris Wellons, Craig Betts, Matt`, Travis, Ice Brain, Dr. Azralel Todd, ST/op, copperfish, jambarama, Mart, K00pa, vacri, Ste Howarth, Gothmog, Steve/ccrassh, Naum, Stefanie and many others I’m probably forgetting at this moment – sorry) and the few people I know IRL (Jenn, Milos and James… I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting someone else) who keep the comment threads alive. You guys are great. My main form of feedback here are the comments and I appreciate every single one. Seriously – even if you don’t have anything to say, and you just drop me a note saying you enjoyed the post – it counts. It lets me know that people are reading my crap.
Oh, and if I didn’t mention your name, feel free to complain in the comments. If you are a lurker, just pop in and say hi.
Hey, that’s an idea – let’s make this the official 2010 de-lurking thread. Simply post a comment including the following information:
- Lurker since (yesterday, last week, forever, 100 years ago)
- Your favorite element on the periodic table (mine are Polonium, Magnesium and Sulfur for no reason whatsoever)
- Your power level: mine is over 9 thousand
Regulars can join in as well.