Archive for July, 2007

Aachi and Ssipak

Sunday, July 29th, 2007

In April I posted a crazy clip from some Korean animation. Here is a quick side question – is Korean animation still considered anime, or is that name reserved solely for Japanise productions? Honestly, I don’t know!

Either way, I managed to track down and identify that movie. It is called Achi and Ssispak (or Achi-wa Ssipak). If you google it, you will find quite a few other clips from that movie on Youtube. I’d recommend staying clear of the official website unless you like to be assaulted by criminal amount of flash, and javascript – including poppups, dynamically resizing windows (ie, the onHover action is to move and resize the window), and etc.

I haven’t written a review in a while, so:

Achi and Ssispak

Korean tale about a world with anal fixation

If you enjoy crazy offbeat movies with lots of action and some twisted, black humor, chances are you will enjoy this movie. If you are offended by gratuitous violence, nudity, foul language please stay clear.

Achi and Ssispak

The plot of this movie is rather… Interesting. In the not so distant future, all natural resources are depleted. Fortunately, science has found a way for the civilization to thrive by harvesting the power locked in the human feces. To ensure a steady flow of feces to the power plants each citizen of the futuristic totalitarian city has special anal-chip implanted at birth. The chip monitors their bowel movements, and each time they deposit some brown in an authorized lavatory they are rewarded by a tasty, highly addictive treat called a Juicy Pop.

Abusing Juicy Pops apparently causes some severe mutations. It shrivels your genitalia, and renders your intestine track inactive, preventing you from defecating. It also seems to cause some form of acquired dwarfism and skin discoloration. Juicy Pop mutants are blue skinned, perpetually grinning, addicted, impotent smurfs, who’se only form of sustenance are Juicy Pops. Which of course they can’t obtain legally.

So what do they do? They form a gang (dubbed Diaper Gang, probably because of their unorthodox headware), and try get their fix any way they can. Unfortunately hijacking heavily armored Juicy Pop transports, and fighting with with the local Juicy Pop dealer mob them nothing but heavy casualties.

Diaper Gang

So they devise a clever plan, to collect implants from all the members of the gang, and implant them in the anus of someone who can still defecate. Then the next time this person visits a state controlled restroom, the dispenser machine will spit not one, but few hundred Juicy Pops. Just enough to feed the starving hordes of the grinning smurfs.

The titular characters Aschi and Ssipak are small time thugs who make money by riding public lavatories and selling Juicy Pops on the black market. In a twist of bad luck Ssipak (the bigg and bald one) falls in love (at the first sight) in a woman who has been chosen to receive the implants of the whole Diaper Gang. The duo manages to rescue the poor girl, and then proceed to exploit her newly gained unique ability to become instant Juicy Pop Tycoons.

It also puts them on the most wanted list of the Diaper Gang, the state police and the local Juicy Pop mobsters who they displaced. This leads to many chase sequences, shootouts and explosions.

Aachi and Ssispak

The character designs in this movie are far from realistic. The drawing is simplistic, exaggerated and grotesque at times. But the backgrounds and CGI effect absolutely gorgeous. This creates an interesting dichotomy between the simplistically drawn caricatures, and the 3 dimensional, dynamic environment they inhabit. The chase sequences really convey the sense of urgency, and the combat scenes are simply awesome. In fact the character design really adds to the dynamism, allowing them to bend in improbable ways, do insane acrobatics and get mutilated in spectacular ways. So despite what you may think when you look at a static screenshot from the film, it is really aesthetically pleasing.

Aachi and Ssispak

Unfortunately, the story does not live up to the eye candy. The script essentially moves the characters between consecutive chase scenes, and extremely violent shootouts at a breakneck pace rarely stopping to explain anything to the viewer. Dialog is sparse, and consists mostly of bickering between the protagonists. And while the writers make small attempts to show the realities of living in a feces obsessed society (ie. barrage of laxative commercials on TV), it is mostly done for cheep laughs. The plot could have been deeper… But then again expecting any depth from a movie about Diaper Gangsters, and a girl with a “magical” anus is probably silly.

Aachi and Ssispak

The creators knew that they were creating a silly and ridiculous piece of fiction, and they treaded it as such. The movie doesn’t treat itself seriously. All the characters are deranged and grotesque caricatures. The protagonists break the 4th wall with impunity. The Diaper Gang smurfs have the combined charm of a pokemon, Jar Jar Brinks, and a derranged, psychotic serial killer, and the skill of Monarch Henchmen. It’s a crazy, silly and at times awesome thrill ride.

Aachi and Ssispak

Strangely enough, for a movie about shit obsessed society, there is surprisingly little of actual feces shown on screen. In fact. I don’t think there is even a single scene in that movie that graphically depicts the actual act of defecation. Which, is not a bad thing.

I give the movie 2.5 stars out of 5 – the straight, down the middle average. While this definitely not a great movie, it is fun, silly and original enough to keep you watching.

My rating: 2.5 stars
**1/2

Apparently a subtitled DVD of this movie is currently available in US. You can order a copy for around $33. But I guess I should mention that this video is out there *cough*tv-links*cough* and the quality is decent (hosted at DivX Stage 6).

Fox News Produces Epic LULZ

Saturday, July 28th, 2007

This is about the funniest thing I have seen on the interwebs in a while:


youtube link

My reflections on the video:

  1. Fox News needs to LURK MOAR
  2. Even Fox obeys rules 1 and 2
  3. Hackers on Steroids on my /b/? LOMAO!
  4. The Lulz Killer guy did not say enough memes. I was waiting for barrel roll, bringing back snacks and bell air. Such a waste.
  5. That exploding car “demonstration” was priceless.

You got to love the overblown media sensationalism, over-exaggeration and unnecessary fear mongering. This is the proverbial “making a mountain out of a mole hill”. But then again, what else would you expect from Fox.

How to Hide and Secure Your Data: Part 1 (True Crypt)

Friday, July 27th, 2007

This is for my cousin Anetta who likes to store sensitive information in her head. While it’s sometimes good to commit crucial passwords to memory, good documentation is important. My memory is not that great – and I must admit that I’m a frequent user of the “I forgot my password” feature on online services. Documenting passwords and procedures for crucial systems is just a good practice, and a safety line. In case you forget, you can always fall back on your notes.

But how do we prevent other people from snooping at your security sensitive notes? One way is to encrypt them. One of the best known, and highly recommended free encryption tools is TrueCrypt. Below I will walk you through installing it, and creating an encrypted volume that you can use to store sensitive data.

Installation is very simple – in fact, it is a one click deal that Jeff Artwood would love:

TrueCrypt Installation

Granted, there is a lot of text to read there, and quite a few buttons, but in the end all you have to do is to hit Install and then Exit.

We have TrueCrypt installed so lets create our encrypted volume that we will use to store our sensitive data. Open up the tool and hit Create Volume.

Create Volume

On the next screen choose Create Standard TrueCrypt Volume:

Create Standard Volume

Now let’s choose where do we want to locate our file. Choose Select File:

Select File

You can choose any file you want to be your TrueCrypt volume. I chose not to overwrite any existing files, but to create brand new one. If your goal is hiding data, you want to pick a mundane sounding name that no one would be interested in. I chose “Quaterly TPS Report Summary.xls”. I mean who wants to read about TPS reports [PDF Link]? Most people will stay clear of that file.

TPS Reports

Once you choose the file name, click Next. I’ll skip that screenshot and more right along to our next screen. Here you choose your encryption and hashing algorithms:

Ecnryption Algorithms

AES is currently the national government standard, so it should be good enough for our purposes. Just leave the default settings on this page and hit next.

File Size

One slightly annoying limitation of TrueCrypt is that you need to specify the size of the file ahead of time. This is because all the free space on your volume will be filled out with random noise, and included in the ciphertext. From cryptographic point of view, this is a good thing. From the user’s standpoint, not so much – but that’s just how it works. Note that it is a good idea to choose a reasonable size for the type of the file you are employing if you intend to hide data. I arbitrarily chose 100 MB – but this size may be a dead giveaway for someone snooping around in my file system. How many 100MB excel files have you seen lately? Keep that in mind!

Password

Next you will be prompted to enter the password – or passphrase. I probably do not have to remind you that this is by and far the most crucial step of the process. If your password is weak, and easily guessed, then all the encryption in the world won’t help you. TrueCrypt recommends a 20+ character pass phrase – a short sentence for example. But watch for dictionary words and names.

Filesystem Format

The FAT filesy stem is good enough for our purposes. If you plan storing big files (over 2GB) switch it to NTFS. Otherwise leave as default and hit Format. You might need to move your mouse around a bit to generate some randomized data that will be used as seed for the encryption algorithm.

That’s it – you are done. Just hit OK and then Exit and you are free to use your file. Let’s check it out up close – it looks like a regular excel file:

Our File

Of course if someone tries to open it, the file will appear to be corrupted – a completely irrecoverable ASCII goblygook. They won’t be able to retrieve the data by using normal analysis tools, or making hexadecimal dump because of the encryption. So the worst that can happen to your file, is that someone will delete it thinking it got corrupted.

Let’s mount our file now. Go back to the main TrueCrypt screen and hit the Select File button:

Select File for Mounting

Navigate to our TPS report file, and open it. Next we want to select a mount point – ie. a drive letter which will be associated with our volume. Pick a free one from your the list in the main program window:

Choose Mountpoint

I choose O, but you can pick any available drive. When ready, hit Mount and type in your password at the prompt:

Mounting Volume

If you peek in My Computer you should see a brand new drive sitting there.

New Drive

The encryption is completely transparent for the end user. You can interact with this drive as you would with any other hard drive. You can copy files to and from it, edit them in place and etc. When you are done editing your secret files, simply Dismount the drive:

Dismount the Drive

Best part is that you can move your TPS Report workseet within the file system. You can even dump it onto a flash memory and take it with you. Whenever you need it back, just open up TrueCrypt again, and mount it from the new location.

In Part 2 I will show you how to encrypt your data using Stegonography – hiding information, within other information. In other words, with the Stego approach the nosy intruder rummaging through your files will be able to open our TPS Report worksheet and inspect it without ever noticing that it is actually an encrypted volume.